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OCD- recording thoughts, please help!

2 replies

teaandtulips · 02/10/2018 18:10

I really need some advice or just the opportunity to get something off my chest. I am posting under a different name for obvious reasons but I am pretty sure I have been living with OCD for years and I am too ashamed to tell anyone but I am finding it really crippling.

I have an obsession with taking notes of thoughts I have, writing them in the notes section of my phone and I cannot stop. I must make over 50 bullet points a day of things I have thought and it eats into my day and my mind massively.
My other half just thinks I go on my phone too much. I find myself replaying conversations and writing them down, becoming very stressed if I can't remember when/where I chatted about something with a friend. It is exhausting and I feel I am 'in too deep'. I think part of it stems from being terrified of forgetting things, my whole life friends and family have told me I have an excellent memory and I am scared of forgetting anything.

I don't have any children yet but I want to be able to control this and just live a normal life.

I don't expect anyone suffers from anything like this but if anyone had any tips or just some reassurance I'd be so so grateful.

OP posts:
kaffee1st · 02/10/2018 18:48

My son has a dx (diagnosis) of "pure OCD" - which has been a nightmare for him. He's extremely bright/intelligent, academically gifted, a good soul, an athlete -- and these are the very personality types that tend to get hit with OCD.

You can't have OCD, though, without ANXIETY. Rid yourself of anxiety - and the OCD will WILL disappear. OCD is anxiety driven - and it is certainly NOTHING to be ashamed about.

If you haven't seen a psychiatrist (a doctor who can prescribe meds) - you should do that - AFTER you have discussed your note taking with an OCD expert therapist.

The therapist will help you sort through WHY you take notes... right down to the anxiety, and then what is driving the anxiety.

What has saved my son (who is 26) - is a med called Luvox (fluvoxamine). It helps the brain control the serotonin levels -
and it has quite literally saved his life (the OCD was so overwhelming, he thought of ending his life).

His OCD is this he sees an image, let's say in a movie or on tv... or reads about it in a book or article and then that image will NOT process and leave his thoughts. It just keeps repeating like a broken record. Like when you get a song stuck in your head -- only 1000x worse.

Mostly it's very horrific images -- things that are gruesome. It's pretty incredible - that when you go to forums where other people with the same type of Pure OCD - they ALL describe the VERY SAME IMAGES that consume their mind. It's called OCD with Intrusive Thoughts.

The brain is an incredible thing and while everyone is unique when the brain has a malfunction - the results can be eerily IDENTICAL in people.... it can be reassuring, too, to know that others are in your same boat. So I urge you to do some internet research for a forum with people who are struggling with the same compulsion.

Just remember - you are not alone (it's rather common). You are NOT crazy (the brain is an organ like any other: Heart, lungs, stomach, etc that can become dysfunctional - and needs medical attention like any other organ when it dysfunctions). You CAN get very real and reliable help with great results.

It's good that you recognize that what you're doing has become disruptive to your life and well being.

One last thing - talk to your doctor about being tested for Strep -- You'll want a STREP TITER to see if you carry the bacteria. You do NOT have to have symptoms of strep to be a carrier. Strep can leak into your brain via the blood brain barrier - and CAN result in symptoms that cause tics, OCD, anxiety and other disorders that mimic a mental health disorder!!!! It's called PANDAS .. My son's OCD began after having strep that would not respond to antibiotics. If we had known about PANDAS when it all started, he could have been "cured" of his OCD.... But we didn't diagnose until he was in college.

Good luck to you!

teaandtulips · 07/10/2018 16:12

Thank you so much kaffee1st for your help, kindness and advice. I appreciate it so much. x

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