Anyone about?

[elliollie]

Anyone still up? I've been really quite well for months but can feel the anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed coming over me.
Been told I have skin cancer this week (non melanoma) and I'm putting on a face, playing it down, believing myself. Rationally, I'm sure it will be fine, they'll remove it and that will most likely, as in the vast majority of cases of this cancer, be that. It's on my face and I'm slightly worried about scarring but I'm not hugely vain (I'm not meaning vanity as a negative trait, just stating a fact) and I'm only a little concerned.
BUT, I feel anxious, I can't sleep at night, want to sleep all day, all the usual stuff. It must be related to the skin cancer news but I don't feel like it is. If it is, then I feel very weak and more than a little dramatic. Talk me down off the ceiling someone, please.

I’m here x

Well you have gotten some big news so you are in shock you poor thing

It’s understandable that you want to sleep all day etc . Are you working at the moment? Maybe it’s not such a bad thing to take a step back and take it easy xx

Do you have anyone I. Your life you can chat to? Also I’m no expert but why do we always have to put on a brave face? Why can’t we have a break down and let it all out ( it would release some anxiety and stress at least )
I know this sounds random but are you watching big brother?

There is a guy on it called Lewis and he is so in touch with his own identity and feelings. He does not apologize for it and dsnt feel the need to belong to a group to feel like a Person. I know it sounds random but the point I’m making is if you are struggling embrace that. Adding that extra pressure to yourself by putting on the brave face is not what you need. Have the duvet days.
I think the anxiety kicking in is naturally the apprehension of what comes next so maybe tomorrow ask the doctor/ hospital for some more information etc the more you know the more comfortable you will feel. Getting prepared for the next part etc

I had the same on one of my cheeks, can understand your concern but I am fine 3 years on. Small scar but like you am not 'vain' (I aim for clean and presentable!)

So sorry. Believe it or not, I fell asleep!!
I am working at the moment and unfortunately, I'm self employed so I really need to get my act together. I can't afford duvet days.
I think what I'm trying to say (probably not very articulately) is that, actually, I'm not really that worried. I know pretty much what is going to happen and I'm not completely terrified of a scar.
I'm more worried about my mental health. It doesn't marry up with my rational brain.
I was very ill a couple of years ago and I can't go back to that place. I don't want this to be trigger.
I think 'brave face' was probably the wrong expression. I genuinely feel ok about it but my anxiety says otherwise.
Dh is amazing and I can, and do, talk to him but he's just started a new job and he is sooo stressed, I'm trying not to add to it too much. I'm rambling and I've probably contradicted what I said in the middle of the night. It's good to write it all down though.

Just woken up - retired so that's ok. Do you think if you could talk to someone it would help?

It just seems overly dramatic. I know what people will say to me, they'll ask if I'm worried about the skin cancer and when I say not really, they'll look at me in that sympathetic "I don't really believe you way"
I may see if I can get a GP appointment. Try to nip it in the bud. I've been off meds for a while, maybe I just need helping through a little.

I've got an appointment with the gp for 1.20 today. I'll talk it through with them and see if I can make sense of my own head. I'm always terrified of being as mentally unwell as I was a few years ago and I know Dh is petrified of it. It was so difficult for him and he was amazing. How he didn't have a breakdown too, I'll never know!

Had a total anxiety attack in doctors. It was so embarrassing. I've got a week of diazepam to ease the symptoms and a referral to a link worker since I refused a new Sertraline prescription and the 6 week cbt which I've done before. It doesn't do it for me.
I'm hoping if I can just calm down physically then I can think more rationally and put myself back in a better place. Thanks to everyone who replied last night and today.

Wishing you all the best, sorry not be around today.

Hi @eliollie I think that even if consciously you're not worried about your cancer maybe subconsciously you are.

I also think that being afraid of a relapse of mental health will make you more anxious. Have you ever read any stuff by Dr Claire Weekes? She normalises return of symptoms and how to float through it.

Buffy, no I haven't but I'll look her up. That is my biggest fear and I know it's dh's biggest fear. I'm almost afraid to have 'normal' worries and sad days because they can make me feel like I may spiral, which makes me feel worse, which makes me spiral, if that makes sense.
I see the fear in dh's eyes when I'm not 100% for whatever reason and that also makes me feel guilty and anxious so then I hide my feelings and they build up until I can't cope. It's such a vicious cycle.