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I’ve no idea what to do next...

2 replies

Kjl83 · 01/10/2018 20:43

I don’t know how I’ve found myself writing on here, I guess I’m just clutching at straws... I am at the point where I just don’t want to wake up any more and my little girl is the only thing keeping me going right now.
I know the ‘obvious answer’ is to see a doctor and be handed a load of antidepressants but it’s not a path I’m willing to take. I am 34 and have had an eating disorder (EDNOS) since I was about 12 but have it under control, I suffer from extreme low self esteem and am currently experiencing anxiety too. My partner is a functioning alcoholic (in denial) and we are constantly arguing/clashing. I love him, probably too much, but I feel as though I am just constantly annoying him. He has three children prior to ours that I adore, but I feel there is a divide between us all which really hurts. He is my best friend when sober, but in a matter of hours all the support offered is forgotten and my faults and flaws are thrown at me. I can’t blame him for my own issues, but his are hugely affecting me and making mine worse... I’ve been told so many nasty things whilst he is under the influence (and he apologises the next day) but they have just all built up and I’m now sat here in tears typing to strangers as I have no one else I can tell. I don’t want my baby to have a split home, but I don’t want her growing up thinking this is an okay way to live... I just don’t know what to do anymore.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 01/10/2018 20:45

The obvious answer is to ditch the alcoholic. Anti depressants and/or counselling might also help but it sounds like this relationship is just making you miserable. (And it’s a crap environment for your child too.)

Annasgirl · 01/10/2018 20:58

Oh dear, you need support IRL. Can you talk to your public health nurse? Or find a local Al-anon support group - there will be other women there who have gone through this and will help you find a way through.

In all honesty, you need to leave your DP - he is in denial and he cannot ever be a good partner while he is an alcoholic. And a functioning alcoholic is no better than a "non functioning' one when they are nasty and mean while drunk.

Perhaps look in the women's aid threads or abusive partner threads as they will have practical help.

For the sake of your DD, please get help in real life - antidepressants are not all evil, but if you cannot abide them, GP clinics can refer you for therapy or other interventions that can help you to cope.

Please check back in with us and call your GP or PHN tomorrow to start a process.

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