Constant fear of OH dying

[ChocolateOrIDie]

I'm almost 100% certain I have this fear because of my past.

I suffer with anxiety. Years ago I lost my only sibling (older) to suicide, was very traumatic in that I was the one who found him.

i constantly worry about my partner dying, he could be popping to the shops and I worry he will get in a car crash and I'll never see him again. If he falls asleep first I find myself checking he's still breathing, if he goes quiet. He's not had any health issues and is a very healthy young lad so I don't know why I worry that he's suddenly going to pass away...

It's clear it's linked to my past but I'm not really sure how to overcome this? Can't currently go on medication as I am pregnant but will likely be back on fluoxetine after breastfeeding/birth.

Any advice or people who have the same issues ? I have never met anyone who worries about this stuff as much as I do!

You could be me!! I worry about the exact same things. But about my partner and my son. It's horrible and you constantly feel so dramatic, it doesn't matter what he does or where he goes I think something bad will happen. And I struggle to let now 14 month old out of my site.
I currently take citalopram, it takes the edge off definitely but I still worry.
As much as I'm sorry you go through this too, it's a slight relief to know I'm not the only person who suffers this kind of anxiety! Hang in there x

Also, I am so very sorry to hear about your loss.
I have lost a few family members and also wonder if this is the cause of the anxiety

I'm the exact same. Lost my mum at 15 years old and then my sister at 26 years old, same as you traumatic was alone with her when she collapsed and did CPR etc. When my dh and ds are healthy I don't worry as much, but the tiniest normal illness and I start freaking out. Dh has a bad cold possibly chest infection at the minute and he was due to walk 10 mins to pick up ds from nursery while I was at work today, because I didn't hear from him immediately and he's ill, I started thinking he's collapsed on the walk down etc. I've had counselling before and I don't like the idea of medication, just not for me so I just put up with it and try to challenge the irritational thoughts but they never stop. So you're def not alone with this.

I have the same anxieties, following the birth of my third baby a year ago I got referred to Psych for post natal depression, but instead they diagnosed me with anxiety and depression. I didn't want to take medication so instead I am attending a Cognitive Behaviour Therapy group workshop once a week. It's not a place to talk through anything (unless you're willing to share any personal info) but instead they teach a variety of skills to help you become aware and conscious of your behaviour and thought processes and then give you the skills and tools to change it.
I would recommend it as I think it can work, it's a long process though and one you have to keep working at.

Pleeeeeease consider this post another time, not right now when your feeling anxious already- i'll keep it short...
Caaaaarefully consider breast feeding when you know you have tendencies for anxiety. The physical and mental toll can be extreme and it's a journey you go through, but sometimes it can take you through a very rough patch and so to bottle feed can really help with that i.e someone can do it for you while u nap/get out the house etc.

On the specific anxiety point, CBT is the oooone!! You'll find your way with it, but for me it boils down to one rule and that is to play it out. Like the what ifs, play them out and see where you get and at each junction make a plan a and b. Helped me so much not to keep fixating!
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