How do you know when you’re properly not right?

[LoisSanger]

Had had problems with mental health in the past - been on ADs and had CBT before. Have found I have anxiety in general and if I manage it I’m all right. If not I have tendency for it to tip over into depression.

Have had usual ups and downs over the past 10 years or so through various not good things in life - money problems, splitting up with XH, moving house a few tones, meeting and marrying now DH and moving again about 6 months ago.

I’ve been feeling not right in myself since about May. I’ve been getting more anxious (probably started when our cat went missing for a few days). I’m not finding I can manage the anxiety and it all keeps feeling too much. Previous depression has had me feeling grey - now I just feel nothing and feel like there’s no me left. Have tried to explain to DH but I always seem to get it wrong. I think he wants to help but I seem to need help at awkward times

Have been working hard recently and is quite a busy time at work so don’t think me being off would be good. Wish I could just stop for a bit though. Worries about the effect of ADs on me and last time I came off them it took a long time.

Have made an appointment for a week on Friday with the doctor but don’t even know if I’ll go. I keep crying (work from home luckily) but manage to mostly pull myself together in front of the DC at least. Feel that DH is provably getting fed up of me.

Feel I am a failure anyway and admitting I can’t cope feels even worse. But maybe I just need to try harder?

Hello Lois,

Firstly, you are not a failure. Truly.

In answer to your question 'how do you know when you're properly not right?' - I think we know instinctively. Something in you decided you'd struggled enough and told you to make a GP appointment.

I know that admitting things are not right brings a while load of other worries about medication etc but the alternative, not doing anything, is not going to help you get better. It sounds like you've been trying very hard already - telling yourself you need to try harder is just piling more pressure on yourself.

I think you should go to the appointment. And be kind to yourself. I know how exhausting it is, just marching on day after day and wearing a mask to convince yourself and those around you everything is fine.

I hope things improve for you soon. Sorry that I can't offer any useful advice.