How to help my DP with my health

[MrsHoodwink]

I am diagnosed BPD and OCD which often displays as severe anxiety, but for the past few months has manifested as quite severe depression (when you feel like you’re going to have MH problems forever and it’s hopeless)

Now the big black dog has really hit me, my partner is young, caring and scared but has never been around MH issues before.

He’s learning to understand it, it hasn’t been easy and we’ve fought a lot but he is trying so hard to help me. There’s lots of info on how to support your partners with depression but what can I do back to support him? Iyswim

I am getting treatment and I know the answer really is “getting better”. But advice on day-to-day things to help him would be great, I know it must be draining and he’s starting to think I don’t love him (because I’m so distant)

Honestly OP, and I don’t know if this is just horribly selfish, but I’m not sure that we can (or indeed should be trying to) support our loved ones in how they cope with our mental health issues. We are trying to cope with our own problems, and it’s not helpful or fair for us to be taking responsibility for how others in our life cope with us as well. We can help their understanding of what we’re going through, and what we need from them, by talking, and being open and honest about our thoughts and feelings. But really your partner needs to be looking elsewhere for support in how to cope with what you’re going through. You can encourage him to look and ask for support, communicate that you definitely do love him and that it’s the fact you’re unwell that causes various behaviours. But you need to focus on yourself and how you cope, and not burden yourself additionally with how your partner copes, let him manage that himself.