It won't go away

[ConsumerUnitNotTraceable]

Lost my mum 3 weeks ago, on anti-depressants now and have hit an all time low.

I can't eat, I can't sleep, I feel sick, my head hurts.
I'm laying on the floor amongst a pile of washing sobbing and shaking and rocking.

The physical symptoms make me want to give up.
I'm so scared but I don't know what of.

I can't breathe because I'm crying and there's no tears left.
I don't know what to do.

I keep having flashbacks and imagining my mum is still here.
I'm waiting for her to come and pick me up and tell me it's all going to be ok.

I can smell her. I can see her, but I can't touch her.
I'm scared.

I can't even tell anyone how I feel.
They'll think I'm mad.

I'm sorry for your loss OP.

Bereavement is one of the most awful things to go through. Do you think that bereavement counselling could help you?
Do you think contacting CRUSE or talking to Samaritans might help?

Do you have friends around that you can spend time with?

Please try and contact someone.

HTH

I can't even get out of the house at the minute to go anywhere.

Stepping outside my front door causes full blown panic attacks where I feel like I can't breathe.

Samaritans might help, but I can't muster the strength to call them.

I'm so pathetic. Still on the floor, still shaking, still rocking.
Can't even pull myself together.
Fucking idiot I am.

I know its painful. When you feel ready call them. There number is 116123. Talking to someone will help you.