I'm not sure what I need to ask really but I was hoping for a few words of wisdom as I have been crying on and off all day. I have been feeling depressed for a while now. I have a 4 mnth old and a 4 yr old. I have felt so low this wk/end - and just worse than ever. My dh is not here right now, he works away for weeks at a time so I know part of this is being lonely - things don't seem as bad when he is home (though the feelings of depression are still there, just somehow manage to manage them better when he's home). Anyway, today I spoke to my dh on the phone today and I was saying how unhappy I felt he wasn't really listening to me and we ended up saying stupid things I can't really remember and he said I was crazy so I hung up and unplugged the phone - this was so mean as I know he worries about me and finds it hard as he can't be here for me. Anyway, we have since talked and I admitted to him first time that yes this is more than being low and missing him and said I would go to gp. Dh thinks i've got PND and i haven't wanted to admit it before but I do think he is right. The thing is I have never been the sunniest person and since teenage years have always had moments of feeling low. i was prescribed ad's in my early 20's but never took them and managed to get through whatever was happening at the time. I know I need to go to the gp but I am scared of taking ad's and always needing them. I feel like I have really failed at being a wife and mum. I have been so snappy with my dd recently and raised my voice which I never use to do. I feel I owe it to her mostly - as when my dh is away she see's the worse of it. I smit I don't know anything about ad's really and I am scared basically of them making me a different person. A false person - not the real me. I am also worried that there is something 'wrong' in my life that will still be there even if I take ad's. I know there are some things that need to change. I feel so sorry for my dh as he works so hard in a stressful job and when he's home I take everything out on him and he hardly moans - just takes it as says he loves me and I only take it out on him as have no-one else to. I'm sorry if this is boring. I know I've gone on but not sure why I have posted this.