I'm really struggling at the moment with feelings of shame.
I am over-analysing every conversation I have with people with a sense of shame.
I can't really explain this very well tbh but for example; I had a conversation with my university tutor about my aims and other things, it was a pleasant and motivational conversation and in no way did she make me feel uncomfortable but I analysed it for days thinking I had come across as over confident or that my aims were too much of a high aim for someone like me.
I imagined her laughing in the staff room with the other lecturers about how I must be dreaming if I think I could achieve such things.
Admittedley, I did really aim quite high in what I want to accomplish in the future, however, I work very hard to make sure my work is the best I can do.
Ive been poorly in the past with social anxiety and suffer with cptsd.
I'm really struggling at the moment, I can feel myself slipping back into depression and have had terrible nightmares for weeks.
Should I go to my GP? Am I wasting his time?
I do a lot to help with my self care and have made massive positive changes in my life to try and overcome all the s**t, I'm just really struggling with shame to the point I feel I am such an embarrassment that I would be better off dead.
I'm not suicidal or anything, far from it atm, just generally ashamed of myself as a person.