Anxiety? Or what?

[toffee1000]

I’m prefacing this by stating that I have ASD, as it may affect things.

I worry about things. A lot.
I’m 23, and haven’t had a single driving lesson. The idea of me being in control of a car is scary, it just seems so complicated and I’d have to remember a lot.
I’ve been unemployed since I graduated last year (2017), although been doing volunteering work and some courses. I literally have no clue where to even begin. There are so many options out there, and then there’s the whole applying for a job thing...

With the ASD, my main worries are social. I’ve never been in a relationship, ever. Not dated or kissed or anything. Zilch. I know that having a boyfriend/kissing/sex is not really a big deal, but I do feel like once it’s over with I’ll feel better in myself, because I’ve done it once so I know I can do it again.

I’m also very negative about things. If someone suggests something new/scary to me, it’s like my default position to immediately stick a wall up and go “nope can’t do it too scary”. I then give all the reasons not to do it.

So this does kind of sound like anxiety, right? Everyone worries about things, but I feel like my worry/anxiety is just holding me back.
Except, I read other anxiety threads on here and everyone seems to have it much worse. They get physical symptoms, which I don’t. I’m pretty good at putting on a front and pretending I’m fine. People mention panic attacks; I had one (I think) when I was 11 when I was in an end-of-year exam and it felt like I didn’t know the answers to any of the questions (year 7, so not a big exam in any way). Not had any since.

So... is this anxiety? Some kind of dysthymia/low level depression? I’ve never been suicidal or anything. I wrote about driving/getting a job as some of the things I worry about.
I’m stuck, and I don’t want to be.

This could be anxiety. You don't have to have panic attacks to suffer. Anxiety manifests itself in many ways. When I'm suffering I do the same as you at putting up a front and acting okay. When I was a child it used to come out as anger and OCD. A therapist I saw once said angry is just sadness flipped inside out. It's looks like your technique for dealing with it is avoidance. Have you ever forced yourself to do something you thought was scary just to see the outcome? You may surprise yourself.

Not really, I tend to avoid things/just not do them.
I wish I wasn’t just instantly negative about things. Sometimes I can be persuaded to do things, but I’ve been negative for so long it’s just automatic at this point.

Sorry to hear you're feeling worried about things. This could be anxiety. The brain is very clever at protecting us. If something is scary we can just avoid doing it so we don't get hurt. There are lots of useful mental health charity organisations online that give excellent information so it might be worth having a look first. MIND is a good place to start. You could also talk to your GP about some support and depending on where you live there may be an NHS Depression and Anxiety service where you can self refer for some support/CBT therapy. They can also refer you on to our support services. In our area we are lucky to have several funded projects that can help so it's worth asking around for where you live too.
I hope you get the support you need.

I’m definitely thinking about going to the GP, it’s just the initial going-there and asking for the help that’s delaying me right now!
In my ASD report it mentions that I over-worry about things; a lot of people worry about applying for jobs but I worry more than most. I probably will do stuff like learn to drive at some point; it’s not too important right now as I live in London, v close to a tube station, but obviously when I’m older/have a family (I do hope to have one) it will be beneficial.

Perhaps write down what you want to say to your GP and pass it over when you arrive. It’s difficult to talk about anxiety/worries. I think there may even me a template form on the MIND website you can complete to take to your appointment.
Driving in London is a brave thing as the roads are busier than most areas. If you’re ok with using public transport then try not to pressurise yourself with the thought of learning to drive. There are organisations out there to support people back into work. Some that specialise in supporting those with a mental health conditions including anxiety. I hope you manage to find suitable services for your area.

I'm where you was but I'm 18 years later, I was the same, I don't drive as have a fear I will kill some one, I have dated but nothing much, I didn't have any symptoms until recently, I'm a guy but see if you can get held with your self confidence now rather than later.