Anxiety out of control

[Gorillaandme]

I've had anxiety since I was a child and most of the time it's under control. I find every time I have stress for a long time it gets much worse. My daughter is 6 months and we are currently trying to sell our house and move because my husband has a new job, tied into this I will need to work 5 weeks notice after my maternity leave to not pay back contractual maternity pay. I'm feeling overwhelmed by it all. The thought of returning to work and leaving my baby makes me want to grab her and run away, I don't trust anyone else with her except my husband and my mum and they both have to work so can't help much with childcare. My mother in law is retired but I hate seeing her hold my baby and I don't know why. She's a lovely person but every time she holds baby it fills me with jealousy. Anyone else suffer with anxiety and can give me any advice or comfort that I'm not the only one?

Hey also suffering really badly at the moment. Feel for you. It's hideous. I want it to stop but don't know how.

I have you found anything that helped in the past. I've tried mediation and CBT but they don't work for me. I find I just have to get rid of the things that are stressing me which isn't always easy.

I have a lot of sympathy - I get very bad anxiety too. you can find a solution I’m sure, but needs thinking through. Can anyone in RL sit with you and go through options? For example, if you have to pay for childcare in order to work those 5 weeks, might it be an option simply to make a monetary payment to your work? Or if that’s not an option could you approach them to defer the start date until your baby is a little older citing health issues? If they’re aware it’s purely a 5 week thing to pay back what you ‘owe’ then perhaps there could be some flexibility about when that happens?

Sounds like you may also want to speak to someone about your anxiety too. Is your doctor sympathetic?

My doctor is the least sympathetic person I've ever met so much so I put in a complaint against him once. I don't find doctors much use anyway, they only offer medication or therapy and I've been down the therapy route. Medication just doesn't appeal to me and I'm breastfeeding so not sure I could take it anyway.
I've spoken to work and we are trying to work put me working half days so I don't have to leave my daughter all day. I'm hoping that's begun to sort that out.
It's so hard when you feel the need to control things and everything is just out of control.