HATE anxiety

[whirlingandwhirling]

Literally hate it.
Hate it more than anything.
It’s crippling.
After a good few months of not thinking that people are talking about me or dislike me for no reason it is back with a vengeance.
I know why. It’s all the change. The weather getting colder, days getting darker, our dog was put to sleep, dd has started school, my hours at work are changing.
I just hate how I feel.
That sinking feeling in your stomach, the feeling of guilt like I’ve done something wrong, the obsessing over social media if my friends list gets smaller or someone doesn’t “like” a comment I’ve written on their status.
Constantly thinking I’ve upset people or I’m going to get into trouble at work (even tho I’m great at my job so that’s the least of my worries)
I’ve been putting off medication for years as it seems to go in cycles of getting worse and then better.
I hate my head.
I hate overthinking and worrying and over analysing everything.

Wondering if going on some sort of medication permanently will stop these lows.
I’m not depressed I don’t think. Just anxious.
I’ve had citalopram and mitazapine before, but stopped them after a few weeks.
Diazepam works really well, but can’t take them long term.
Also really worried about weight gain as I gain so easily.

Hello. I have to be on permanent meds for anxiety. I was on citalopram for the best part of ten years on and off. I just can't manage withoit it. Im on escitalopram now which seems to suit me more.

I have put on weight though :(

Mirtazipine is well known for making people hungry. We use it at work to make cats/dogs eat if they go off their food. So when my dr suggested that i politely declined

When I’m ok, I’m good.
But when it hits me it’s awful.
I’m sat here with my heart racing and that guilty feeling.
I wish they could prescribe something like diazepam that you just need to take as and when. But they won’t do this with diazepam as it’s so addictive. They give me 14 every 6 months, but I have to really limit when I take them, and only take them when I feel awful, just not quite bad.

Anxiety is the pits ! For me it’s a dry mouth, racing heart and literally no appetite. It’s a feeling of dread in my stomach. For me thankfully it does stop a lot of the time but when it’s got me it’s awful. I’m on a low dose of fluoxetine which seems to take the edge of it. I try and exercise but not easy with a busy job and family etc. Big social events tend to spark mine off or difficult times at work.
Really deep breathing helps me and lavender ! ... had diazepam short term once and of course that works well but no doctor will quite rightly prescribe it long term... odd in a way considering they will prescribe anti depressants long term. I think diazepam is addictive though.. I only had to take 5mg and I felt very detached but really, really tiers the next day... one thing am grateful for is that about 80 % of the time am free if it but when I have it it’s horrendous I can’t think clearly.
If anyone has any tips please tell me

I would love some tips too.
I try the self care, nice bubble bath, healthy food, exercise etc. It works to a point.
But it’s just the gnawing feeling of dread and guilt that hits you out of nowhere.
I can go for months feeling fine and not convinced that everyone is talking about me behind my back, on a really good day I’m not even bothered if they are!
But today out of nowhere it’s just smacked me in the face.
I’m convinced my boss looked at me funny and is annoyed with me, I’ve lost a few friends on fb, probably because they’ve deleted their profile or had a friends clear out and I’m scrambling trying to work out who they were and if I could have offended them.
I went for a coffee with a friend earlier and I’m replaying conversations to make sure I’ve not said anything wrong. Even tho we had a lovely time and I’m 99.9% sure I’ve not pissed her off in any way.
If people take a while to text back I think I’ve done or said something wrong.
It’s the worst feeling.
Have had a couple of diazepams for the past 3 days and although they work short term sometimes I wonder if it makes me feel worse long term as I feel worse now than a few days ago.
God knows.

I have this too so completely get where you are coming from.
I also have OCD and a lot of intrusive thoughts. Severe emetephobia too.

Oh the joys.

Unmumsnetty hugs op

I have had terrible creeping anxiety for the past year and when someone I loved very much suddenly died a couple of months ago it ramped up and just hasn't gone away. I feel a sense of constant dread; I'm always feeling guilty; when I see myself in a mirror I just think 'failure'. I can't focus on anything. I'm no fun to be with. I went to the GP last week and he put me on 50mg of Sertraline (sp?). So far all that's happened is I still have all the above, plus raging shits and a dry mouth! I keep googling for success stories of people who've tried it and felt better. I just want to crawl into a hole and sleep forever.

Oh god and the ocd too that comes with it. How could I forget that?
I keep checking things, tapping things, stepping over cracks, stepping diagonally across drains, touching the light switch screws before I turn lights on and off, have to touch both sides of the door handles simultaneously.
It’s so bloody draining.

Have treated myself to Netflix tonight as feel so bad. Any comedy box set suggestions?

Not got Netflix whirling so can’t suggest. Am watching a good drama later so that’s my distraction... I’m also trying to think positive and feel grateful for the good things I have in my life. Had anyone tried mindfulness ? Has it helped. Imagine a life with no anxiety would be nice... hard to imagine that there are actually people who don’t ever have it

I keep debating mindfulness and cbt. It’s just finding time to fit it all in, although I’m sure all this time spend worrying and being anxious takes up a similar amount of time!