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Mental health

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Not so much depressed, more totally overwhelmed!

11 replies

CalebandDylansmummy · 08/06/2007 18:58

In short, my father had a massive heart attack a month ago and has recovered amazingly well. He does have some short term memory loss and a bit of confusion, but considering how he was at the start, he really has done well.

Now the problem is my mother. Dad is now ready to leave hospital, but mum is coming up with all manner of excuses as to why he can't. Money, that she can't cope if he has another....etc etc. I talk to her and suddenly all is ok again. This has happened many times in the past few weeks.

Now I certainly do have sympathy for what she will need to deal with, but she taking everything way too far now. Threats to leave so someone else can care for him, according to my brother she is displaying the same behaviour she was when we were children...almost psychotic to be honest. I just don't know what to do now. I live 100 miles away but my 2 brothers and sister live close to them. My sister is speaking to her tonight and will be totally blunt with her, but i'm not convinced it will work. None of us have a particularly great relatioship with her because of what she was like when we were children (we were utterly terrified of her), but we are very supportive and have offered help.

To be honest, if it weren't for my dad, I would seriously consider cutting her out of my life now.

OP posts:
MellowMa · 08/06/2007 19:00

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CalebandDylansmummy · 08/06/2007 19:07

I sadly doubt it will, I have been fairly blunt on numerous occasions and she has seemingly listened, then all is fine for a day and then she kicks off again!

She is being selfish, worrying because she feels she won't have a life/won't be able to do her OU course (which she has been doing for 15 yrs and will probably never do anything with the qualifications)She can do those things if she tries!!!

Most of us would be worried about not coping but we just would because we have to.

OP posts:
CalebandDylansmummy · 08/06/2007 19:14

It's been awful enough nearly losing my dad, I can't cope with much more right now (Other stuff too)

OP posts:
vixma · 08/06/2007 19:32

do you want her in to your life or not?

MellowMa · 08/06/2007 19:37

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CalebandDylansmummy · 08/06/2007 19:51

Thanks for your support MellowMa, sorry to hear things aren't so great for you.

Vixma, I wouldn't be upset if I didn't see her again, but I DO have to think of my dad atm. At the moment his heart is still very weak (he will have a bypass op soon)he is very vunerable, so I cannot upset him, my mum could really set him back already. My dad adores my mum. If my mother walks away from him now, then I would not see her again.

OP posts:
MellowMa · 08/06/2007 19:54

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CalebandDylansmummy · 08/06/2007 20:13

No, but really she has been like this since we were very young, so I think it is either just her, or some kind of mental health problem. We'd never get her to admit that though! In fact I am certain she has a mental health problem!! She is pushing us too far now. We have done everything we possibly can to help.

OP posts:
MellowMa · 08/06/2007 20:16

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CalebandDylansmummy · 08/06/2007 23:20

My sister has now spoken to my mother, she flipped out and said some awful thins (Mother not sister) and now has apparently calmed down.

I truly feel my mother will walk out of my dads life, just when he needs her most and will break his heart. But I will have to wait and see.

OP posts:
MellowMa · 09/06/2007 10:37

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