Would I benefit from counselling?

[pornstarmartinilover]

I feel that I have a number of unresolved issues from my past and in general I think I manage very well. I have a good career, nice house and look after my son on my own. I feel where it has a massive effect on my is in relationships. I think I'm overly anxious and needy.

So what I believe my issues are.... not a bad up bringing but parents were not very emotionally warm and my dad would shout a lot. The shouting a lot has caused me to have issues with conflict and criticism. I worry so much about being seen negatively and I think this is due to how negative feelings as a child meant being shouted at. My parents not being very emotionally warm.... I think I'm overly affectionate and need this too much to feel loved and wanted. When I've been single (not now) I've craved it and had a few one night stands to try and get it but it's obviously had an opposite effect.

My ex husband was extremely emotionally abusive and cheated on me. Again I think this contributes towards me fearing conflict, criticism and being so scared of rejection. I think that I'm overly compliant in relationships due to the fear of rejection. I can't say how I feel or what I want because I'm so scared about how I will be viewed or worse... how I'll be rejected.

As well as the above, in my relationship I'm very insecure, anxious and constantly analyse, doubt and question in my mind everything he does. I try not too but at times I am excessive with seeing reassurance and approval.

I'm extremely conscious about how I am and try so hard to control it and keep it at bay but it's so hard and exhausting! I feel like my mind is a ping pong ball going back and forth between what I should be doing and what is the easiest way to manage situations.

I feel like I can't go on like this. I need to change but I don't know how. I try to train my mind but it's just not that easy. I'm sick of my mind being consumed with these feelings. I feel like I can't live a normal life as I'm always worrying and over thinking things. Does anyone know how whether I'm likely to benefit from therapy, what therapy I would benefit from and how I can seek this?

Any one?

Hi there I am a counsellor and yes I would definitely say that you could benefit from therapy I would look for somebody local Who ideally is accredited with the bacp. There are lots of different modalities but perhaps somebody who trained integratively who would be able to all for you talking therapy for understanding and processing your relationships and cbt for coping strategies.
Good luck

Thanks. I thought cbt would be beneficial. Do you know how much counsellors generally charge? The cost does worry me and how many sessions generally do people need?

I think anyone can benefit from counselling, it's a safe space to discuss and work through any issues which are bothering you. I'm no professional by any means but have had counselling myself and would recommend it to anyone.

To answer your questions above, the counsellor I saw charged £70 an hour which I think is a pretty standard rate for private counsellors. With regards to the number of sessions people need, I've been told that it will vary depending on your personal circumstances, some people need around 6 sessions to talk through things bothering them whereas some people will need over a year to fully work through more deepset issues.

I'd definitely recommend going for an initial appointment regardless. I will also say that it sometimes takes a while to find the right counsellor for you. I've seen 3 and almost gave up as I didn't really 'click' with the first two but I'm so glad i gave it another shot and went to the third as it's really helped.

Sorry this is so long, just wanted to explain my own experience!

It really depends where you live etc. Its about £50 an hour where i am but there are some local charities like MIND who charge less. Most private therapists will offer a free meeting session to see how you gel and to give you the opportunity to ask questions etc. Most of my clients come for long term therapy but sometimes 6-12 sessions can be enough for specific issues or just to begin the journey.
Ive seen 4 therapists over the years, some for a few months and one for analysis over a few years. All proved and continue to prove so helpful

Thanks for your replies. I really should do this. Sometimes my anxiety is through the roof and it just feels awful. I'm feeling ok today but only because things are good with my bf and how I feel shouldn't be dependant on that. I don't think I'd need long term therapy. I do worry about the money. Do people tend to have it weekly or monthly? I could maybe afford one session a month but not 4!!!

Usually weekly to begin with or fortnightly. Have a look for local counselling services. Some where I live start from £15 a hour which makes it much more affordable. Lots of private counsellors have concessions for low income too don't be afraid to ask