I’ve got a 4 yo and 14 month old. We’ve had a really stressful year since ds2 was born - husband very preoccupied with work as he was worried he would lose his job and also some local mums were very unkind to me which knocked me for six.
I muddled through looking after the kids and then found it gradually became harder and harder on interrupted sleep. I was starting to find it relentless and around the time ds1’s behaviour was really bad something in me seemed to snap and I felt like I couldn’t cope anymore. My parents have been very supportive with practical help but I have reached the point where when I am alone looking after my children I feel very panicky and anxious... overwhelmed by the responsibility. My dh has just had a promotion and is working hard so can’t help that much. When my dh or parents are around I feel fine and relaxed. It’s got to the point I’m having sleepless nights worried that I will be too anxious to look after them properly, even for a few hour periods. It’s a feeling of being trapped and alone with them completely dependent on me. It’s heartbreaking because I love them so much. I don’t have any family nearby to help and my local friends all have small kids so can’t really ask for help. It’s really irrational “what if I’m too anxious to make them dinner?” I’m seeing a councellor. But I was wondering if anyone had had anything similar and got through it? My dh has suggested moving nearer my parents which is quite a drastic move specially as my son is about to start school. I can’t see a way through this and it’s destroying me. Any advice or experiences welcome.