Feeling unloved and unsafe

[purpleshimmer]

Does anyone else ever get that feeling of being rejected and unwanted/unsafe?

Does it relate to your upbringing and parents?

My father was abusive and my mother and I weren't that close but she was there in a crisis...she passed away ten years ago now.

Life has been hard for me in lots of ways over the past 8/9 years and whenever I have a bad episode I just can't shake this feeling.

I've cried loads today and all I want is for someone to hold me tight and tell me it will all be ok, and make me safe.

I know we can't really rely on others all the time but when you're a single mum and feeling so low it just feels like the world is against you.

I fight every day to just get through it most of the time and I know my kids are amazing and I'm doing a great job there but apart from them I feel like I have no one.

No real friends or family, no mum to babysit, no partner to love me.
Sounds like a sob story and sorry for myself I know.

I just wondered if anyone else could relate to that rejection feeling especially from their father and if it has made them feel unsafe in the world?

Thank you

I saw your post and didn’t want it to go unanswered.

FWIW I think you’re absolutely right that these feelings relate to upbringing. And it’s good that you’ve recognised this. It’s not your fault that your father was abusive. You know this, but sadly that doesn’t stop the feelings does it?

Have you felt like this before?

Thank you so much for the reply.

Yes I always feel like this, I mean like whenever I get upset about anything this feeling is really at the core of it.

I guess we just battle on don't we.
I'm glad you agree with me that it relates to upbringing. Such an odd thing to explain.

Thank you so much for responding

Yes, we do battle on....hopefully you have some strategies that you have used before that you can use again? Tiring though, and you shouldn’t have to....It’s really not fun and not fair.

You’re certainly not alone in feeling like this.

I hope things seem brighter for you soon

Thank you.

It helps so much to know I am bit alone.

I will just carry on as I normally do...have a down day, a good cry and then back to it tomorrow.

Thank you for being there just when I needed.

Hope you feel better tomorrow. Allow yourself to feel rubbish and don’t forget that tomorrow is a new day and you’ll hopefully feel a bit better.

I feel like that sometimes since my father died who made me feel safe. I have no family of origin now and I think it's from being alone in the world.
I had a holiday with a close friend from school recently and again I felt safe ( strangely).

How are you this morning purple?

A good cry is always wise when you feel rubbish. I hope you’ve found some relief in letting the tears come.

I’m also going to dig out my gratitude journal thing today as I find remembering the positive things does help a bit to counterbalance the difficult feelings. It also strangely brings about a feeling of some control over the situation for me.

Hi 1234Hello

I'm doing ok thank you, was definitely good to get rid of the tears. I think it builds up and we need a release now and again.

The gratitude book sounds like a good idea I should give that a try.

Thank you for asking after me. I hope you are well too. Keep smiling.