DN with borderline personality disorder

[Want2beme]

I haven't visited Health before, but I'm a regular poster on the litter tray and sometimes post in AIBU, chat and relationships.

I was wondering if anyone has any knowledge of what kind of help and financial assistance someone with borderline personality disorder can get? I'm probably being very clumsy here, so I apologise for this. It's just that my lovely DN, who's mid twenties and was diagnosed in her late teens, is currently in a really terrible state and not coping at all. I talked to her on the phone for a couple of hours yesterday, (I don't live in the UK, she does), and thankfully, she's managed see her new GP today with her DM, and he's prescribed medication for her, has given her a contact to call to arrange therapy and wants to see her next week to review things. We're all hoping that she'll soon start to feel better about herself and her life, but I'm just wondering if there are any benefits she can get until she's able to work and support herself again. She worked for several years up until a few months back. She's currently living with a family member and we're all helping her financially, and all happy to do so, but I'm wondering if it will always be the case that she'll be unable to work and, therefore, not be financially independent, in which case, is there anything available to her re. benefits and maybe housing? She's so anxious, is really struggling and so disappointed that she's unable to work. She told me that she wants to be successful and contribute to society. It's heartbreaking to know that she's struggling so much.

Any suggestions as to who I can contact to make enquiries would be really appreciated. Do GPs help with this side of things?

She might be entitled to Employment support allowance (ESA) and/or Personal independence payments (PIP). She would need to be assessed for these though. You can find out how to apply by searching on gov benefits site or she could contact her local citizens advice bureau.

Sorry to hear your DN is suffering and you're so worried about her future. GP needs to refer her to her local community mental health team, not just something like IAPTS or Time to Talk, because the CMHT are more likely to be able to pair her with a support worker or social worker who can help her apply for financial assistance, get on the housing list, etc. Her family need to help her push for a referral if that isn't what the GP has done so far.

I feel for you all. I'm in your niece's boat, broadly speaking, but if my DN had my difficulties I'd be far more devastated for her than I am for myself. So tough to see them struggling and suffering. Very best wishes

Thank you so much for replying Fission and reenchantmentofeverydaylife, it's very good of you to help - I'm absolutely clueless. It's so hard to know that people are going through so much when all they really want is to be able to live happily or at least, contentedly. I wish you the very best for your future reenchantmentofeverydaylife.

My dd has borderline personality disorder and is currently claiming ESA. She is also working for an hour and a half a day as a midday assistant in a primary school which is permitted while claiming ESA. She has an assessment for it once a year .Mostly we support her and she is living with us at home but she needs constant emotional support from me - which I am happy to provide although it can be extremely draining.
GP is ok, psychiatrist is worse than useless and the group therapy that she attends under the NHS has been going on for 5 years without much improvement in her mental health. I am not really sure how else to help her and understand how you must be feeling.

I have a family member who is diagnosed BPD. In my area (Surrey) BPD is classified as treatable within the community, and therefore even though she has several times been in in terrible states of distress with suicidal thoughts etc it has been very difficult to get her admitted to hospital, even for short periods.
As I understand it the standard treatment is DBT, dialectical behavior therapy, a rigorous therapeutic process (based on CBT, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), which can take up to two years to complete. It doesn't offer a 'cure' but focuses on managing and coping strategies.

datagirl, this is what I've been wondering. Will DN need to be cared for in some ways, for the rest of her life. I did discuss this possibility with her, which upset her, thinking that she won't be able to make a life for herself and will always be dependent. It sounds like your DD is doing her very best. You must be very worried for her at times.

That's very interesting Rowley. I did come across DBT online.

I'm making a note of everything you're all very kindly telling me about

I do think that Borderline sufferers generally need a lot more support in life. Not being cared for as such but I think they do need a good strong support network around them to encourage them to do as much for themselves as they can. I have noticed that this varies a great deal with my dd. Some days she can't get out of bed and can't go to work with the depression but at other times she is very capable and even went travelling to Japan.

The best i can do is offer practical help and listen to her without judgement. There will always be highs and lows but we get through it together and I am slowly learning that its about managing her condition rather than attempting to cure it.

I have a book called Stronger than BPD by Debbie Corso which details the DBT techniques which may be useful for you.

Thank you Datagirl, I'll definitely get that book.

I really appreciate your insight and will continue to tell family that DN needs our support. It's encouraging to hear that there will be good days and times ahead as well. I hope your DD is doing well at the moment.

Thanks Want2

DD is struggling again at the moment as she is about to return to work after the long summer break. Her anxiety is really kicking in and she is not sleeping well as a result. She is on medication but that doesn't help with bpd symptoms\behaviour - just alleviates the depression a bit.