Struggling

[user1466108618]

Hi i seem to be on a self destructive path off late i left my ex after 16 years off emotional abuse and we have 4 children.
I did think i was coping but the past month or so my mood has gotten worse i already take 200mg off sertraline but feel there not working anymore, im also drinking heavily at weekends which i know is not the way to go but it helps numb the head.

Ive came close to wanting to end it all as i keep thinking im worthless and my children deserve better than me im thinking my ex was right about me.

Sorry just had to get it out.

Hey. I really hope you succeed to get through with this. I have been diagnosed with almost everything since I was 11.2 months ago I gave up on my meds because I took them for years and years.. and there is nothing I haven’t tried. From Prozac to seroquel, gabaran, Zoloft to benzodiazepines and so on . I think they all did help because I have been suicidal since I was a kid and tried to kill myself more than 3 times. My point is that I couldn’t handle the way I was living anymore because I couldn’t remember important things or focus or be normal or a person.. and I know that depression does that to you but strong meds do that to you too. So I had to give up on them. Now I am off of them and I am feeling better actually. I am just full of anxiety, paranoia, nightmares, stress and my ocd is getting bigger but I don’t feel that depression anymore and that for me means a lot and it’s something I can live with. You’re not worthless and stop trying to talk your way out your life. You matter for your kids. You matter to me. And I am not saying this because I feel kind.. or trying to be nice. I am actually not a nice person. I filled myself with poison and rage to survive this. And if I can do it you can do it too. You never know how bings change.. try to be positive as stupid and annoying as it sounds. For me.. it worked. And I know it’s not for long but I am happy for it.