Depressed 16 yrs but won’t get help

[Butterflybelly]

He’s in tears most mornings when he wakes. He’s self destructive and difficult to manage. He will not accept any help. I don’t know how to encourage him to access support. I’m so worried for him. He tells me regularly that he doesn’t want to wake up in the morning. I just don’t know what to do next.

I should have said 16 years old.

Hard to know what to suggest if he won't accept help. It's not fair on you. Is there any further background information? Could you make his GP aware and see if you can get any advice (yes I know about data protection, but he could probably give you some general information).

Oh no

My gp has offered to see him but we need to wait a month for an appointment. There’s a teen drop in but he won’t go. He also didn’t go to his camhs appointment. His mantra is “no one can help me”. If I could just get him past that it would be a start.

He’s had a lot of difficult changes in the past year. He’s smoking weed regularly which is the worst thing he can do. I’ve tried all kinds of approaches. Nothing seems to help.

Have you asked him if he would be open to trying antidepressants? He sounds severely depressed and in need of an urgent assessment. If necessary, you can access CAMHS as an emergency via A&E. I have heard of young people with severe depression improving rapidly with antidepressants.

I’ve asked him to consider antidepressants but he’s said no. I wouldn’t get him to a&e but if I thought it got to that stage I would call out a crisis team. I’m at a loss.

Where's he getting money for weed? If it's from you I'd put a stop to his cash flow first and foremost. Smoking weed is a major factor in young people ending up psychotic and having problems for life. I used to work on a psych ward and drug induced psychosis was a frequent reason for admission.
You can't force him to get help unfortunately but speak to the GP yourself about him and get their advice.
Hope he accepts help soon and recovers but first thing that needs to be done is getting him off the weed.

I’ve stopped giving him money. He’s sold absolutely everything of value in my home. All of his friends smoke weed. It’s the most difficult thing to manage.

I am sorry to hear you are in this difficult situation. If he will not access support, seeking some robust support for yourself would be a good plan.

Would he consider online support?.
The Mix was recommended to my son. (Also 16 and depressed/ suicidal thoughts, but fortunately engaging with GP/ CAMHS)
www.themix.org.uk/
Echo PPs urging you to seek support for yourself.

Thanks all. I’ll look in to support for me.