Hi. I have been living with psychosis for the last 4 years. I basically have a paranoid delusional belief that people are out to kill me. I’ve been with my dp 8 years. We have a 5 year old ds together and I have a 13 year old dd from a previous relationship. So 2 nites ago when dp got home from work he announced that a group of them from work are going to plan a 13 night trip to basecamp Mount Everest in 2020. I didn’t say too much about it as just thought it was something someone suggested and it wouldn’t come to anything. He came home last night and starts telling me exactly when it will be and they only need one more person to ok it. I looked away at the tv and he got annoyed with me because I wasn’t interested in what he was saying. I told him had he considered it would be hell on earth for me if he went. He knows I can’t stay here alone with the kids overnight as I get very anxious because of my belief. He goes on nights out till early hours of the morning and I even struggle with that but he only does it about once a month so it’s manageable and I never say anything to him about it because I want him to enjoy himself. But he went away for a week last October to a different city to do training for work. It was during the October half term so I was able to get different family members to stay each night as nobody had to get kids to school but was still anxious with him being away and became very distressed one night and called the police because I believed me and my kids would be murdered that night. He later rang me that night and had a go at me for calling the police as it would of upset the kids believing that I had control over my actions. I explained to him last night that I wouldn’t even be able to get anyone to stay for those 13 nights he wants to go away as it’s termtime and so I would have to stay alone with the kids. He got huffy so I came to bed thinking he would think about it and realise he’s being unrealistic thinking he can do this trip but no. He came home tonight talking about it again. I feel so unbelievably upset that he knows and doesn’t care that I’ll be distressed while he’s gone and god knows what my mental illness will tell me to do in that instance, I have no control over my actions when I have an episode. Am I being unreasonable for feeling this way? I’m quite sleep deprived at the moment so don’t know if that’s clouding my judgement. If it was something he’d always wanted to do then maybe it would be different but it’s not, someone suggested it at at work and he thought yes I’ll do it. He’s also going away two different weekends in September for friends birthdays. Fine I’ve arranged to stay with family as it’s the weekend so it’s not like he’s never allowed out. Sorry it’s so long and no paragraphs, I don’t know how to do them.