I have been very unwell with depression and anxiety over the last couple of years and have really struggled to function. I was on Mirtazapine and came off that to ttc as it was messing up my cycles. After 2 years try with no luck and under fertility clinic, I was back in a hole again really unwell. There are 2 Drs at my practice, the first one was very reluctant to start me on another AD and told me to try therapy alone initially, I continued to deteriorate mentally and had to really fight for him to prescribe, he put me on 20mg Flouxitine very reluctantly. I then ended up seeing the other GP who increased me to 40 then 60mg. I asked him if this would increase the risk if I got pregnant and he told me the risks were very minimal regardless of dose and he had no problem prescribing it for pregnant women.
So now at 7 week pregnant and due a review I was unable to get in with second GP as he is on 3 weeks leave. Just seen GP 1 who has made it clear that he is not at all happy with me being on above 20mg whilst pregnant and I've had to really fight for a prescription to last me until GP2 gets back . He kept telling me that I have to consider the baby's welfare and I kept telling him that I am because if I get more poorly again I won't be able to care for baby anyway (plus there's evidence that high levels of cortisone in the mother during pregnancy can cause brain dammage.)
No I'm feeling really conflicted and confused. I've got one GP telling me it's safe and another telling me it's not (Although conceding the risks are very low) and I have a nurse specialist from occupational health telling my boss (and GP) that there is high risk of a relapse in my mental health at the current time. (I'm just returning to work after 6 months sick)
I feel like I'm trying to balance a tiny possible risk to baby from the medication against a high risk of my mental health deteriorating, which I feel would then mean I couldn't provide baby with the best care. For me I believe that I am doing the right thing for both me and baby by staying on the medication. But now the GPS shaken me again and my anxiety has sky rocketed, for the first time since before I got pregnant and I'm now sat here shaking and feeling guilty about my decision and doubting myself again.