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Mental health

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He won't give up until he's ruined me

4 replies

Holeinone99 · 20/08/2018 10:59

I had a horrific breakup with an abusive man (mainly emotional, only bery occasionally violent), we broke up around 6 months ago. Since then he took a job on the other side of the country. But he's now visiting my home town every few weeks. He's started sharing personal details of our sex lives, including some outright outrageous lies. This is to people I know well and some work in the same industry as me. He's telling people I used to webcam on the side (No judgment to anyone who does, it's just an outright lie), that I'm a habitual drug user (lie) and a terrible mother to my daughter who is 9. I used to be so level headed but I now feel like I'm in a constant state of anxiety, it's crippling me. I don't go to the gym anymore, I hate even leaving the house to do to work now. I feel like a bag of nerves and on edge 100% of the time, and I don't know how to get myself out of this rut. I've actually started to despise myself. It's a new feeling for me, I've never been in this place in my head before. Any advice on how to get myself out of this rut would be really appreciated.

OP posts:
abbieo · 20/08/2018 11:37

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this Sad Sad

Easier said than done obviously but try and not let it get to you, keep your head held high and carry on with life as if he's not bothering you. He's trying to make you feel like shit and its working, in his mind he's won because you're unhappy

Have you phoned the police about it?

BathroomLights · 20/08/2018 11:42

Well if someone told me that kind of stuff I would judge them, thinking why are you telling me? And I wouldn't believe it. I would think he's bitter and she's better off out of it.

And I think my reaction is probably a normal one so please don't feel that you should be ashamed or anything.

Bombardier25966 · 20/08/2018 11:43

Speak to your GP or Women's Aid for support. You are being abused despite no longer being together.

Also think about contacting the police to report harassment. Harassment doesn't need to be directly to you, him doing these things via other people does count. Women's Aid will be able to talk you through this.

Holeinone99 · 20/08/2018 14:19

I haven't phoned the police, to be honest I think it would just magnify things and I'm scared of how far it will go.

Can I really call womens aid? I'd assumed it was just for people in current abusive relationships so hadn't thought of them.

Thank you all for your advice!

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