Empty nest and mental health

[TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince]

I hate and am ashamed of myself.

Ds 24 was offered his dream job. Absolutely what he spent years working towards. High profile and beyond perfect for him. He’s done amazing and I’m so proud. The trouble is it’s 200 miles away.

I miss him unbearably. It feels like grief. He phones me and tells me how happy he is, and how much he’s enjoying it. And l hate hate myself for hoping he doesn’t enjoy it. If he didn’t enjoy it he would come back,

I have a long history of anxiety and depression and it’s surfacing again. I can’t stop crying. But I’m so proud of him and want him to be happy and do well, and he is. I loathe myself for being selfish.

But it’s killing me.😭

for you. Sorry, have no advice but didn't want to read & run. Someone will be along soon who can help you...

Bump

I can understand how you feel. My ds is 19, he took a year out after Alevels and is now getting ready to go to uni next month. I can feel my anxiety levels beginning to rise, unable to keep still, talking a lot and not sleeping. I’m desperately trying to hide it because I don’t want my anxiety to become his. It’s so hard, I’m going to miss him so much. I’m already on medication for depression & anxiety, I’m planning on dealing with it by letting it all out to dh and a couple of good friends who don’t mind. I think the worst think you can do is keep it locked in because it then becomes this huge thing that becomes almost psysical. Have you got someone who you can talk to who will understand and cast no judgement?

Yeah, l talk to DH, but it still hurts so much.

I think it is a hidden problem which no one talks about. It seems to be shameful to admit to it.

Both of my DC are in London, and I do miss them, but get a lot of pleasure from knowing that they are happy and doing well.

I do try to pop down to see them, maybe for a couple of nights, every 2/3 weeks, even if it's just to meet up for a drink or a meal.

DD always phones me in the morning when she's walking to the bus, and DS often calls at night when he's walking home from the tube. We are also quite active on our family Whatsapp group.

Could you do any of these things to try and help? I do feel for you - DH has called in to see the DC today before he is elsewhere for work tomorrow, and I feel a little sad at home alone! Wish Poldark was still on!!!