Feeling so down I can't even sleep!

[Thinkingofausername1]

Hi!
I've suffered from depression for a few years now. Unfortunately due to some medication I am taking and cannot change, I cannot take antidepressants as they all will interact .
I am starting some therapy in a few weeks time but i feel so low, and I'm struggling to have a good nights sleep because I'm worried about so many things.
My emotional state is starting to affect me physically and i have had no motivation for anything this week. I am having hot flushes and just feel like my head is spinning.
I just feel like I'm a burden to all my friends and family. My dh read out all the texts I have sent him the last six weeks and it's made me realise how it's starting to affect him and those close to me. I knew I was low but him reading them out loud has really upset me and made me realise something needs to change! And now I can't sleep because I feel so bad I've dumped that all on him.
How can I get through the next few weeks before I start therapy? I'm even thinking of cancelling what I have planned tomorrow; because I just feel I'm going to create a negative atmosphere and burst into tears .

Hi,
Sorry you are feeling like this. I'm no expert on depression so apologies if I say something wrong, I can't sleep either for other reasons but I wanted you to know:
-You are not responsible for how other people feel, so you cannot be burden to someone unless they allow themselves to feel that way. It sounds like DH is just concerned about you- for you- not for himself.

• You are not deliberately feeling like this. If you had a choice I'm sure you would choose to feel better too.
• You are actively trying to help yourself by booking the therapy sessions

In relation to your plans for tomorrow, sometimes getting out and about makes us feel better. Staying in can be a vicious circle. But if you're really not up to it, only you know best. But again don't be worrying about how it will affect other people.

Try and get some sleep

Thank you for your reply.

I unfortunately didn't get any sleep.
I just couldn't shut my mind of from anything.

Hi,
It might sound odd to you, but I would like to say Well Done!
You are reaching out for help here, you have therapy booked, those are huge steps toward your recovery. I know it might not feel like it right now but it is very positive.

I know from personal experience how bad depression can make you feel.
I would just like to suggest you look at your depression from a different point of view. It is a mental illness that anyone can get (even David Beckham, Beyonce, Adele and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson!!). Would you feel guilty for catching the flu? I don't think you would.

Friends and family are your support network, just like you are theirs. Every now and then, you need to rely on them. One day, it might be the other way round.

Until you can get your therapy, there are a few things you could try. Get some exercise, even if it's just going for a walk. Getting some fresh air will help.
Look up mindfulness, it can help you relax.
Before becoming an hypnotist myself, I used YouTube videos to help me go to sleep. I'd recommend hypnosis videos by "Michael Sealey". They worked a treat on me despite my depression and anxiety at the time.
Or you could try the "Betty Erickson" self-hypnosis method. It is simple and will help you relax.

Again, you are on the road to recovery. You have help, you will get more soon.
With that help, you will get better.