Postnatal anxiety positivity stories please!

[StarWarsGeek]

Hi all,

I have two children, 3y3m and 6m. I was fine after my first, but after my second I recognised that I didn’t return to my “normal” self after the initial shock of gaining an extra person into my family. I went to GP who was atrocious, but fortunately had an amazing HV and am just abou to attend my second session of CBT.

My anxieties centre around a complete panicking fear that I will ever die. It all sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud. But utter fear that one day I will no longer exist. I am 30, and feel like I’m on a treadmill to death, not that I think it will be soon or that i want to do it to myself, but the thought that it will ever Happen. I also have a huge amount of anxiety that no matter how hard I try I will never be able to be the mum I want to be.

To put the death thing in context, between my daughter and my son I had a miscarriage, lost my Nan suddenly last year and just recently lost my grandad. I can understand why I feel like I do but can’t stop the low mood/anxiety - hence the CBT.

Anyway after the background, I basically just need to hear that I will come out of the other end. I was never like this previously. I find it hard to enjoy any of the things I used to, every day is a huge effort, and the constant intrusive thoughts of death are so unwelcome and bring me a lot of sadness.

I get outside every day. I try to meet with other people.

I want to know I won’t live my life in fear and with regret.

I had severe pnd - with anxiety although the focus of my anxiety was different to yours - after both of my children. It was the hardest thing I ever lived through. But over time and using techniques such as cbt it gradually diminished until one day I realised that I wasn’t on red alert all the time. As for the depression it is always there in the back of my mind and tears it’s head when I’m really run down but I’m better able to recognise it now and can rationalise things better. Good luck and hang in there.

Rears not tears

Thank you so much for taking the time to write - I’m glad to hear CBT helped you, I’ve always been an advocate for people getting professional help but now faced with it it’s hard to see how it’ll actually help me come out of the other side. Trying to keep the faith!

I found CBT really helped me with postnatal anxiety and depression. I will send you a full post tomorrow as DH has just wandered in and is wondering what I’m writing st this time of night. It gets better. Chat tomorrow

I had unbearable postnatal anxiety and eventually went on Sertraline (150mg). It saved my life and after 3 years I've finally weaned off of it and I feel like my normal self again. CBT didn't work for me but I know it helps others.

I had pnd after my dd1 and after dd2 I had pna. Just had DD3 and was referred to the peri natal mental health team in my pregnancy and had appointments my mh nurse regularly in pregnancy and post natally. No pna/d this time round. However I do think my ocd is bit heightened 🤔

It does get better OP. The cbt should help🤞 didn't help me, I found counselling amazingly helpful instead but I know ppl who swear by cbt.

Getting the feelings out in the open and seeking help is the biggest thing to get you on the right track to recovery so you're on the way there already

You are a great mum, you've identified a problem and are tackling it.

I wish you all the best xxxx
Stay strong xxx

Had postnatal anxiety and depression but anxiety was more severe for me after dc3 last summer. Finally went to the go a few days before Christmas as I honestly wanted to throw myself under a lorry along with my worry. GP was great had a massive talk, persuaded to go on meds as I was wasn't keen. Took seratline 100mg to start, upped to 150mg after then had CBT in February. CBT really helped me and I still go back to what I learnt there. Off meds a little while now and finally starting to feel positive about the future and a lot more like me. I still awful guilt towards my kids as it was hard on them.
You have been through a lot op. Well done for getting yourself some help and support. If CBT doesn't help, seek other treatments. For me CBT has been a slow burner but works better now.
Hope you feel better soon, honestly it does get better.

Excuse all the typos.

I had post natal anxiety with DC1, my DF died suddenly when she was 11 weeks old. I had the same fears, all around me dying and leaving her to feel the way I felt at the time. It took around 2 years to be fully back to being my usual self, I don’t think I’d let myself grieve properly as everyone says that babies can tell when you’re stressed so I bottled it all in - didn’t even cry at the funeral. I think that was my minds way of getting it out if that makes sense.

Just wanted to pop back to say that I took medication too (not just cbt) and, for me, it was quite literally a life saver. People can be funny about it but, again for me, it was akin to Taking any other medicine.

Finally just wanted to say how strange it now seems to be talking about life saving medication. At the time I was suicidal. I just knew I was going to do it. I just didn’t know when. Now it feels like I’m talking about someone else. It is absolutely possible to feel better!