Inspired by a recent thread (but not a TAAT).
My dad has had MH issues since I was a child. I'm not really sure what exactly. He was previously diagnosed as bipolar as well as with schizophrenia - and he's been refusing to see anyone or go on meds for well over a decade at this point. In my very unqualified opinion, he ticks all the boxes for narcissism, too (but that may well be his other issues making him incapable of seeing beyond his own nose).
I'd love to hear from others and about how this works for you/how you cope.
As for us: I have a sister. We're both in our 30s now and basically have no relationship with him. My sister basically went NC at 18. I really tried for a long time, but I really can't any more.
He's so incredibly hurtful. It's one thing to deal with the baggage from our childhood. We can both rationalise that to some extent. But the being hurt and let down again each and every time is frankly more than I can cope with. I do want a relationship with him. I do not want to be made to feel that I'm in the wrong, not worth his attention and not what he hoped for every time I speak to him. I'm an adult woman, independent, professionally successful and technically in every position to be proud of myself. I still struggle to accept that my father doesn't love me - even though I'm perfectly aware that this is because he can't, not because he won't.
I've mourned him so many times now. It's as though every time I reach out, the father of my early childhood (before he went off the rails / when I was too young to see the bad stuff - we're not sure) dies another death.
He's getting on a bit now. I have a feeling he won't ever reach 80. I'd really like to make my peace with him. I don't want to be THAT woman with the daddy issues for the rest of my life.
If you're in the same boat: have you managed somehow? How do you do it?
Would love to hear from people in the same situation or anyone else with insights.