Ive been struggling for a while

[nm1989]

I hate myself for being like this. I can't snap out of it. I have been diagnosed with depression which I have had intermittently for as long as I can remember. I'm taking the tablets. I was in psychotherapy for 3 years and I still feel broken.

I feel as though I'm on the periphery. Like everyone else can see the bright side of life but I'm stuck in some stubborn negative mindset that I can't snap out of.

I wonder about whether I'm just a self centred, entitled individual. I think I am. I honestly feel that the abuse I experienced in my childhood has caused my life to be irreparable. I don't want to be around anymore and I can't see hope. 3 years of therapy could not fix my head so I don't believe anything else will.

So sorry to hear you feel like this. I feel exactly the same, years of anti depressants, therapy and trying to keep going and still end up back in this hole. I have the same self critical thoughts that i'm just a selfish person. It's so hard to escape from.

I'm sorry to hear about the abuse you suffered. That must be a very difficult thing to live with. Do you have friends or family around at the moment?