Does anyone get sick of the burden of mental health issues?

[TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince]

I’ve had chronic anxiety/depression for 25 years. I had it when a child/teen too but didn’t recognise it as such.

It’s managed with medication, but l know it’s just waiting there to catch me out at the next big thing. It gets worse as l get older (l think it’s called the kindling effect).

I’m so sick of carrying this thing. Not knowing when it’s going to appear again, constantly monitoring my reactions to events/issues.

No counselling including CBT has ever worked so I’m on meds for life which is fine. I’ve just seen a friend deal with her husbands cancer killing him. I’m so in awe of how she coped.

I wish I had something positive to say, but I posted something along the same lines on another forum. I;m at the start of an episode. I'm 26 and have struggled since I was 14 and I'm just so tired. I've been in therapy for the past 19 months. It's the same old advice, take it day by day and try to do small things that make you feel good, even if it's just a cup of hot tea, or scented candles.

I'm in the same situation, I had my first panic attack at age 10 and I'm 30 now so 20 years for me, I thought I had it beat for a while but recently I'm just swinging from one episode to the next, it is exhausting mentally and physically.
I won't lie I throw myself the odd pity party but then I just get on with it and by get on with it I mean I do the best I can, remind myself that it hasn't beaten me yet, every year I find new better ways of coping, I carry on with my day despite the fact that it feels like I'm having one endless panic attack and at the end of the day I think "fuck you, you didn't stop me" it's childish but it works for me.

Depressive episodes are different, I throw myself into those almost, I feel every hideous moment of that all consuming blackness and I take care of myself, I care for myself as I would someone else because self care and kindness are so damn important to getting through depression, being depressed is truly awful so take care of yourself, be ridiculously kind and patient and understanding with yourself because you bloody well deserve it.

I always think of the burdens of others and play a ridiculous game of 'would I rather have mental heath problems or...' it's ridiculous but I guess it's my way of reminding myself that the grass isn't always greener. It is OK to get sick of the relentless of it sometimes though, it's only natural, just try not to get stuck in that frame of mind for too long, it's only giving your already existing mental health issues fuel for the fire.

I totally get this, I seriously hate having BPD. I honestly feel like I'm drowning in it most days. Nothing helps and it's taking over my life, it rears it's ugly head way to often and ruins everything. I'm so done with it all. I'm not much help but just know I understand