Confused..... how to get out of this hole

[BleachedWail]

I have been on 100mg of sertraline for a year. I think that they have helped somewhat, they smooth the worst excesses of my symptoms and I have days I feel normal but often the old feelings ‘break through’ and I feel back to square one.

I tried to come off the tablets at Christmas when I felt so low that I was convinced that they made no difference but it was clear that I was better on them than off.....

I believe the source of my depression was untreated postnatal depression that has just ‘bedded in’.

I tried counselling but the nhs sessions were useless and the private sessions were too expensive for me to keep up plus they didn’t seem to do much good.

I am now floundering, no worse, not really much better..... still binge eating, not looking forward to anything..... numb.... sad.

What’s my next step?

I'm sorry you are feeling like this still and I'm sorry no one has answered you on here yet. I recommend you back to your gp and tell them how you are feeling. Tell them that there is no improvement, tell them that you are still binge eating, feeling numb, sad and have lost pleasure in things. It is unclear from your post whether you have stopped taking your meds or are still on them. I'm presuming you came off at Christmas, realised that you needed them then restarted them but correct me if I'm wrong.

I would ask your gp for a mental health assessment as although it could be postnatal depression (which has not been treated properly) it could also be an alternative diagnosis.

It may also be helpful to get your blood checked for iron deficiency as we tend to neglect ourselves when depressed or when comfort / binge eating and that can make us feel a hundred times worse when we already feel crap.

I hope you can find the strength to go back your gp and say that feeling like this is not good enough and you want to feel better - you deserve to feel better.

Best of luck OP x