I am so scared I have cancer please help me

[Ames123]

I’m hoping someone can give me some light for the dark place I am in right now. For a long time now I have suffered with severe health anxiety.
It kicked off with lymph nodes 2 years ago and since then I started meds and had cbt which helped me tremendously.
I also suffer from a skin condition called Hidradenitis Suppurativa which causes abscesses and boils in the groin and armpits.
This is one of those diseases that has flare ups every now and again but it is normally kept at bay with a three month course of acne antibiotics (lymecycline)
After a particularly Nasty abscess I was put onto a stronger anti bitocs flucloxacillin and then amoxicillin to clear it up. This was three weeks ago and I have woke up yesterday morning with an enlarged lymph node (painless) on the opposite side to were the infection is and two tender ones on the corresponding size.
I have been to my go today and she has assured me she is not worried it is sinister but because it doesn’t hurt me then I should go back in two weeks if it hasn’t gone down.
I know people who don’t suffer from HA and breathe a huge sigh of relief but I just heard ‘it won’t go away and when you come back in two weeks it will still be there’
The thought of it not going down terrifies me and I don’t know how I will cope if it doesn’t. She said we will just get it checked if it has t gone but she thinks it will go away and that it is due to the skin infection.
I think maybe in the past I could have possibly had large nodes because of the skin condition but I am so scared that I can’t remeber if think straight l. Either way the day before I go on holiday with my husband and two daughters is the day I have to go back to her.
Guys I am spiralling our of control. I’ve not eaten all day and I can’t stop googling to see if it’s lymphoma and if I will survive it to see my kids grow up 😢😔
Does anyone have any positive stories of their own which can help me reassure myself I don’t in fact have lymphoma?
I really need some support guys I am desperate 😢😢😢

Anyone please?

I can't comment on your specific conditions, but I didn't want to read and run so I will try and reassure you.

Obviously the fact they are going to do further checks is good.

I have a very swollen lymph node which has been there for months. I too was terrified it was lymphoma and had convinced myself I had cancer. I got it checked out at the doctor and it is, quite simply, a swollen gland/nose.

Bodies do weird things, I know once these lymph glands swell up from an infection they can sometimes take years to go down again, if you do suffer from other conditions it makes sense that your glands might swell up and take a long time to go back to normal.

Try not to panic, get the checks and go from there xx

Obviously I mean node, not node.

And it's still there! Still doesn't hurt, I just try to ignore it.

P.S. please try and stay away from google, remember people with the most positive outcomes rarely post on the internet because they have nothing of interest to report!

Thankyou MochiBean you have no idea how much I appreciate the fact that you have responded. And comforted me. I feel so alone

I suffer from health anxiety too so completely know how you're feeling at the moment and how real this all feels to you just now.

From the outside looking in, I think it all sounds grand. You've said that you've got a couple of other glands swollen up and that they are painful. I think that's really reassuring. I also think it's reassuring that your GP didn't just dismiss you. She's clearly conscious of your HA and keen to give you the chance to come back in two weeks if it's not gone away. From my viewpoint this shows that she's very on the ball. GPs that are on the ball don't tend to dismiss things that they are genuinely concerned about. If she was really worried she'd have referred you today and she didn't. GPs are not allowed to say reassuring things if they think there could be cause of concern. The fact that she did means she thinks it's fine.

You said you've done some sort of CBT in the past for your HA (I have too and I know it works but I also know how hard it is to do the techniques when you're in a "worry spiral") so you know as well as I do that you need to step away from the internet right now. Go and open your front door or stand in your garden and take some big deep, long breaths of fresh air. Huge big ones and hold them then blow them out slowly. I'd then try to "park your anxiety" for the next two weeks. Your anxiety has done its job. You went to the GP today. It can do no more for you so is now totally worthless. Worrying about this before the two weeks are up will achieve nothing apart from causing you stress.

I know how easy this is for me to type this but how hard it is to do in real life. Honestly, I do. I also know how horrible you're feeling right now. I absolutely promise if you were a friend of mine or a family member who told me the story you have I'd be very very confident that it'll clear up and you don't need the appointment in two weeks.

I hope this has helped. Put down the phone and go and breath that fresh air for a bit. X

Sunflower2626 you have no idea how much I needed that message ❤️ Thankyou from the bottom of my heart for reaching out and being so kind with your words. You are right and I am going to sit outside now in my yard and do the breathing. Anxiety is the devil and I have let him in and need to get him out!! What you have said is so inspiring to me especially as you also suffer from HA

I'm really happy if I've managed to help. I honestly meant everything I said.

Take care of yourself and keep that anxiety out! X