Had my first CBT session yesterday. I think it’s gonna be helpful but something the counsellor said made me think. He did a questionnaire and scored my anxiety and depression are. Anxiety was under the threshold (I’ve never felt that I suffer from anxiety so that makes sense). And depression was middle. He said a couple of times that he can see that my depression isn’t severe/is quite a low level and that I am obviously managing..
I know what he thinks doesn’t change how I feel. But I feel like the sessions won’t work if he thinks I’m only a little depressed and am ‘managing’
I have been in the worst place ever the last few months. Suicide has crossed my mind pretty much every day. I’ve been ‘managing’ as in getting out of bed and going to work and seeing people sometimes (aside from the week I had off last week and 2 weeks off a month or so again)
But can a mental health professional really think that just because someone isn’t stuck in bed all day every day and not doing anything ever, that they aren’t ‘that’ depressed? So often when people die by suicide everyone talks about how they never would have known, they seemed ok etc.
I don’t know how to tell him that I feel like I’m worse than he thinks. Because I wanna get better but if I’m doing CBT based on him thinking I’m not that bad, is it going to help?