Suicidal intrusive thoughts but I'm not depressed?

[anitagreen]

This may sound very strange I just need o know if anyone's felt like this before and what they did to stop it. For the past few weeks I've had these awful intrusive thoughts about suicide, dying etc but I do not want to die? I don't know where it's came from except I know that my anxiety tends to pick up on what I'm afraid of and magnify it by about a million.
I've looked up OCD pure O. And it seems similar to what I'm experiencing I will be okay then an unwanted thought will pop into my head and cause me stress and then get into the cycle of worrying that I'm going to die of suicide? I just don't get it I don't want to die I don't want to leave my children or husband I'm moderately happy in some ways. I just want all these unwanted thoughts to go away? I've tried kalms, vitamin D as I was low in them, breathing exercises help here and there, chamomile tea. I have had anxiety for years and I'm not depressed a little blue I'd agree with these thoughts but that's about it. My mind is constantly filled with endless chatter about problems to solve, things I need to do, things I have done, etc it's just becoming very draining

I'm sorry to read what you're going through OP. I have heard of OCD pure 0 and I understand it must be really difficult for you whilst you're experiencing intrusive thoughts.

Please see your GP who will be able to refer you to somebody who deals with all different types of OCD, and they will be able to help you.
Good luck

Thanks for the reply I have noticed a pattern that this occurs around the time I'm due on around a week beforehand and when the period starts it dissapears so hopefully it will again. But it has left me terrified that I had thoughts about suicide as I've never been a suicidal person ever and it's really freaked me out and frightened me and I'm now having to keep reassure myself I won't do it even though I know I wouldn't? Sounds ridiculous wrote down but it's an awful thing. I've read that with the OCD pure O you do get obsessive with some thoughts and I'm hoping this fizzles out soon and I'll be fine x

The way I would try and view it is that someone's thoughts aren't connected to their actions iyswim.

It's good that you've noticed a pattern as to when these thoughts occur,.maybe it could help if you keep extra busy around this time?
As mentioned though, I really do think you'll benefit from talking to your GP and letting him/her help you.

Hey, I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through. I’ve suffered with anxiety for a few years now and it fluctuates. I’ve always managed the bad times (I thought I did) and take an AD. About 3 months ago I started experiencing intrusive thoughts about suicide. I’d be driving and suddenly start thinking about driving off the road or off a fly over. I started planning things in my head. The entire time it terrified me and not once did I want to act on these thoughts. They started happening most days and I ended up breaking down in my managers office. I’m fortunate that we can access services through my job and that day I called the mental health team and mum GP. They were both amazing and reassured me and I was referred for counciling. It turns out these thoughts were due to my anxiety and I’ve started CBT. I’ve got a long way to go, but I’m slowly starting to feel in control and thoughts are less dramatic. Please don’t ignore this and hope it will fizzle out, I tried that and they just got worse. I was worried I’d get sectioned of they’d say I wasn’t fit to look after my girls. Turns out it’s quite common and I wasn’t treated like I’d completely lost it (as much a I was wondering if I had).

Hi @anitagreen,

I've been battling OCD thoughts for years. When I was at uni I was constantly worried I might jump under a bus, car or tube. I had to distract myself when waiting for public transport and be a couple of metres away from them.

My OCD has really spiked after my dc birth and currently having really bad relationship OCD (worried I might have cheated); I have made an appointment with a therapist and starting soon (privately).

The good thing is We are not our thought! It will slowly get better.

If there’s a possibility it’s hormone related maybe try a good high dose of evening primrose oil for a month to see if that helps...it sort of helps your body metabolise the hormones
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/16528139/