Sharing my feelings...

[WhoAteMyCandy]

I really stuggle to share my feeling and last time I let them all build up until I had a breakdown. My OH then made me tell him what I was feeling every day or so and making me see it was nothing to worry about. Hes now gone back to just getting cross with me as he cant understand why I worry about some of the stuff and thinks its all in my head. So im using this post to list the stuff ive been worrying about the last few weeks and hoping it will help.

• wont get a mortgage for our house so we can move out ( meeting with the bank in a few days)

• DD does not like me ( nearly 5 and always telling me she hates me/ im not fair)

• had to buy a swim suit two sizes bigger than I though ( size 22 when I wear size 18 clothes)

• DD didn't get into the same school as the nursery she went to so im
  worried she s going to really miss her old friends.

• I will fall out with the PIL again ( we live with them and the last fall out was awful! They still wont say sorry for the hurtful stuff they said to me

• That no one will employ me as ive been out of work 5 years to raise my DD. Going back to work is something ive really been looking forward too.

All I can think of for now.

I think you've just been stuck in a rut for a while, living with difficult in-laws and not having a job of your own. It's hard sometimes to believe that things are going to get better so it's no wonder you feel overwhelmed. Sounds like you just need a bit of kindness but the people around you aren't giving you what you need right now.

First of all don't worry about your daughter. She's at the age where she's pushing boundaries and will say all sorts of things in her frustration. She doesn't hate you, she loves you. I bet when she's ill, she only wants you. Please don't take her words personally but make sure she knows that it's unacceptable to say things like that to you.

She will make new friends when she starts school. There will be other children in the same boat as her. Have a word with her teacher about your concerns when she starts and they might be able to reassure you that the school will actively support her to get to know her classmates and make new friends.

As for being a sahm for a few years, you have to view it as a positive thing. You've had to be patient, organised, adaptable and resilient to do that so you need to embrace that when you go for new jobs. People always need nursery workers, shop staff, restaurant staff etc so the work is there, you just have to remember that you're capable and potentially a real asset.

Good luck with the mortgage application. I really think a new start at home will be like a weight off your shoulders.

Ps swim suits are always too bloody small!! I always go two sizes bigger!