It's ruining my life

[soulfind]

Just that really. Depression, anxiety, paranoia, anger. For many years I've suffered with these shadows! Through all the unsuccessful therapy and medication, I can finally see how it's ruining my life. I can't manage my emotions and wonderful things in my life are damaged because of me. I'm a busy working mum of 4 children. Unhappy marriage that's coming to its end. Mental health is unstable. I just need some input. Someone to listen. Am I going crazy help please

Just wanted to say i can relate to a lot of what you have written, i myself feel very down, hopeless, tearful, stressed, etc. Could sit down and cry just now!! Sorry not much help, just wanted to say you're not alone xxx

Hey, sorry to hear. Does anyone know about this? Or have you been keeping it in all this time? It's so hard feeling this way and not knowing how to deal with it. What kind of therapy have you had?

Hi guys thank you for replying. Iv battled mental health issues for a long time. Talking therapy, counselling, so many medications, Iv moved house, moved areas, kept things in, let things out. Iv done so much to heal. I'm currently on medication but my misery is taking over. I'm anxious, lonely, empty, bitter, angry and in all honesty I just want to die. I wouldn't hurt myself because I have my children to think of and they need me, I wouldn't do anything to take my own life. It's just the feeling that if I didn't have kids I would absolutely say goodbye to this world. I only live for them. But I feel trapped. I'm here because I have a responsibility to my children, not just to look after them but to not damage them mentally or emotionally by taking my own life. At the same time I just don't want to be here anymore and that thought kills me inside. Xx

So sorry you feel this way but I kind of understand. Please go and speak to your go or can you self refer in your area to a counsillor? This is what I did and got an 8 week CBT xx

@soulfind its tough isnt it? and no one really understands until theyv been through it, i said to a friend of mine once imagine ur worst fear and u have to face it day in day out u dnt want to die but u dnt want to live in misery..its beyond exhausting!

OP I completely relate to you, I wish I had some words of wisdom but have spent all weekend curled up in a ball crying so have no answers, just wanted you to know someone understands

OP sometimes it just helps to know ur not alone and to everyone else on here going through the same thing its hard to believe but there will b better days ahead. Please go back to ur gp it sometimes takes a long time to find the right combination of therapy and medication but theres light at the end of the tunnel i promise u that x

Keep fighting for ur kids sake, to have gone through all that and still b here ur stronger than u realise!