Have name changed for this.
I have suffered episodes of anxiety and depression from being a teenager. Have had medication and CBT.
I work full time in a very demanding pressurised job. Have small children and husband. People always say, “I don’t know how you do it all?” When people say, “your job must be so stressful?” I say, “it can be at times”, but to be honest it’s almost like I am too busy to be anxious. I can’t overthink things or worry, save unless something major happens and then I tend to get very low. There are however signs I’m stressed, bad skin, overweight and it’s all on my tummy. I also was investigated for chest pains, literally every test, and it was put down to stress.
My husband would say I am always on edge - permanently in flight or fight mode - don’t relax.
Currently on holiday. As always within a day or two I am ill - tonsillitis, but I soldiered on with painkillers. Went on active holiday. Now home for a few days and the anxiety is rising. Just the feeling of dread. Overly anxious about small things. Feel like I could cry.
It’s always like this. I now am in an unhealthy cycle thinking, well I better start doing some work, because I know that will distract me from my anxiety. It’s so confusing. In CBT I was taught distraction can be a good thing, but it feels like I’m ending up in a terrible cycle.
Any one suffer something similar, any advice? People often say give up your job, but when I had to take 3 months for ill health I had a massive anxiety episode and ended up on medication. Not that we could afford it, but I think that would cause more problems and not help.