Advice for improving body image

[CaffeinatedSloth]

I was wondering if anyone has any tips or advice on how to begin to feel better about my appearance?

My mum is very critical of everybody's appearance so I grew up being told that I was too fat to get a boyfriend, my acne made me ugly, my face upset her, my eyes aren't nice because they're hazel and not properly brown or green, I look a mess naked, I don't dress right... Basically, everything about my appearance was wrong.

Rationally I know I'm not that ugly. I have a healthy bmi so I can't be that fat, I get compliments on how I look and dress, and DH thinks I'm beautiful. But I still feel fat and ugly. Even if I dress up and look good, I know it's just clothes and make up and I'm still ugly underneath.

I'm sick of feeling like this, but I've no idea how to change how I feel about myself. Does anyone have any advice?

God, you poor thing - your mum sounds horrible!

If you get compliments, you must look bloody fab! Not just "not that ugly", but actively fab!

If you have a healthy BMI, you are not fat at all, not even a little bit.

I just googled hazel eyes, and basically all the pages were saying that hazel eyes are the most beautiful colour there is, so basically your mum was talking bollocks about that, so I think we can assume she was talking bollocks about everything else too. Start noticing when you are recalling the things she said, or thinking those things about your appearance, and actively tell yourself "No - she was wrong. Look at me - I look great!"

For me, would start with trying to challenge the beliefs that a person is inferior if they are fat-ugly-dress wrong-"look a mess", etc.

Remove the power from the belief that these things are important. You can try to look pretty etc., but that's a choice, not essential in order to be a worthwhile human being.

Thanks for your responses 😊

I don't judge other people off how they look, so I should probably stop doing that to myself! Time to start being a bit kinder to myself, I think.

I watched an excellent programmes about body dysmorphia on BBC3 recently