Don't really know were to start, no one to talk to in rl. I hate my life, I know I need to do something about it but don't know were to start. I'm married 4 kids 2 are husbands 2 from previous relationship. We've always had our ups and downs but the last 2 years have been hell. Starting with the unexpected death of my sibling, it hit my hard brought on depression and anxiety (which I can't seem to shake off). Husband wasn't very supportive kept telling me to pull myself together etc etc. I found out that he had taken out a loan and a credit card and spent all the money on gambling, he said it was due to him being stressed. i've never really forgiven him for this, at the worst time in my life he wasn't there for me and that scares me for the future. fast forward to now my depression and anxiety is still with me, I've just had to re do a year at uni due to stress, found at a few weeks ago that he has been messaging an ex on fb, can't seem to finf permanent employment, expects me to do everything regarding house and kids and just generally doesn't seem interested in the family anymore. I blame myself due to my MH issues. Everything's just crap at the minute, youngest kids constantly arguing, overwhelmed by the debt husband has got us in, no friends, no real family that I see, no job, house getting on top of me and a s*^t marriage. I'm done I don't know hat to do or were to turn. I fantasize about leaving him starting again just me and the kids, getting a job, continuing with my studies but its not that easy. I believe it will make me happier but not sure if its the depression talking. I'm sorry that just sounds like a lot of rambling, just needed to get it written down