Panic attacks over school trip

[roseblossom75]

I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for almost eight years now (since the birth of my youngest child which was very traumatic. He shot out feet first in the ambulance, and then an hour later at the hospital I was told he has Down's Syndrome).

I am over protective of him which I think is due to the fact I almost lost him when he was a few weeks old. He contracted swine flu and spent six weeks in intensive care on life support.

He's now a happy almost eight year old who lights up my world, but I find I worry about him constantly.

He is due to go on his first school trip this week.
When I'm thinking rationally I know he will be fine and I trust the staff 100% (he goes to a special school).
However, when the fears take over (panic attack) I find myself going over every worse case scenario in my head.
It makes me feel physically unwell as the fear just takes over my entire body and leaves me feeling physically and emotionally drained.
I don't want to ask the school staff for reassurance as I fear they will think I am being over anxious (which deep down I know I am).

I would feel too guilty if I stopped him from going due to my anxieties.
Some of the parents are accompanying their children on this trip, but unfortunately I am unable to do that as I wouldn't be back in time to fetch my other child from a different (mainstream) school and have no-one else available to help.

The trip is this Thursday and as it draws nearer I'm just feeling more and more anxious.
He has no sense of danger and I worry about the play area (particularly if it is busy with other children).
I worry that he will wander off or become engulfed in a crowd of children and disappear (it's a farm with a big outdoor play area and indoor play barn).
I tend to avoid busy times where possible when I take him to parks etc (even if we end up going in the rain!).

As I have said I trust the staff 100% (which is another reason I don't want to mention my worries to them) but I think it is worse when I'm not there myself to protect him and I don't know if he is safe.
It's a horrible sickly feeling.

I hate to say it but you know what you have to do. Let him go...you trust the staff, he will be safe and he will have so much fun!

Be kind on yourself. Anxiety is awful. Think of coping strategies for yourself. Deep breathing, go for a walk with your other child, keep as calm as you can but accept your fears. If it's too much perhaps consider sertraline or similar.

He'll be ok! And you'll be proud of him!

The problem is yours, not his. So you accompanying him on a school trip will change nothing, in fact you'll only exacerbate the problem.

If you have post traumatic stress disorder, you need professional help. I had a treatment called EMDR and it was enormously helpful- 4 sessions and I was cured, just like magic.

Please don't put up with this awful and crippling conditioner any longer, you have been through quite enough pain and you don't have to any more.

Of course, you need to address your anxiety, but at the moment you need to deal with upcoming trip. You need to talk with school. Ask them who will be his TA for a day, what activities they are going to do, what would be their advice about clothes/packed lunch/whatever. Put a card with your mobile phone in his bag (just in case). I do this -- of course, school staff know my mobile number but I feel better this way.
I know what you are feeling, mine is at secondary and any school trips are still nightmare for me. I know it's wrong but it's easier to say stop worrying than to do this. Try to think rationally: it's not his first day at school, he will be with his friends, school staff know him and his weaknesses, and to be honest he is not the first child taken for a day trip by school. Talk to staff, believe me, they won't be surprised.
By the way, I went to a similar trip to a farm once as a parent helper at primary, these trips are usually very organised, plenty of adults, ratio depends on needs, very strict timing. Children won't be wandering around, they are usually in small groups visiting specific places in turns. My DD had a trip at secondary already and again it had very strict timetable, children in groups, plenty of adults.