Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Can’t do it again

7 replies

Haribogirl · 01/07/2018 14:56

I’m jut going further and further down
I’m having more and more suicidal thoughts to the point I’m thinking what way to do it

Dp is totally pissed off with me, he asked if we were going to do shopping!
I just said yes, then lay down
I’m really not upto going acting like nothing is wrong
Dp I’m sure thinks I should just carry on
Shopping, cooking, visiting etc
I know it’s the way to lift depression
But I be got no interest whatsoever

Dp asked what I want for tea, I don’t feel like anything, just said get chicken “there £6 “ so what ffs
I have had to literally write a list
Because he will just get what’s needed for the day
The fridge is bear
I’m loosing my temper with him every time he ask
Should I do this
Where is that
How do I do that
He’s only been gone 5 mins 1 call and 3 text there’s only 6 things on list as he won’t do big shop to stressful. Rather go everyday for few things

I feel like screaming, he seems to carry on like I’m normal
Trying to make a joke out of thingsfeels like he’s not taking me seriously and will carry on with his day and phone and not even ask how I’m doing

Oh I’m so fucked up in my thinking

OP posts:
Aridane · 01/07/2018 16:01

Are you getting GP support or otherwise engaged with mental,health services?

Haribogirl · 01/07/2018 17:19

Not yet been waiting 8 mths with healthy minds first point entry
Gp as contacted the secondary care team I was under 7 years ago 3 times to see me urgently referred back to in my area healthy minds which is to see a psychologist

Everyone I ring
Crisis
Early introversion
Raid at a&e

Because I’m not secondary care, and actually haven’t harmed myself (yet) they won’t help
Just write back to gp

I went for secondary care mh assessment last Friday, awaiting letter probably tomorrow to see if I fit there criteria!
Dp thinks I dont express myself enough ! But I’d had diazepam was wasn’t actually in floods of tears begging, but brought tears in my eyes talking about it
How bad you have to be is beyond me.

OP posts:
Aridane · 01/07/2018 17:24

Has yGP. Given you any medication - eg anti depressants- pending accessing secondary care

Haribogirl · 01/07/2018 18:45

Yer I’ve been on meds since I was 25 now 60
Last 6 years venlafaxine and I’ve upped it for 8 weeks with no difference so lowered it back down again
Also got diazepam

OP posts:
Aridane · 01/07/2018 20:45

DH sounds like the cherry on the mental health cake

Haribogirl · 01/07/2018 21:41

Probably how my mind is a mo
Cherry on mh cake ??

OP posts:
Aridane · 02/07/2018 07:17

Sorry - I just meant that you are already contending with mental health issues and the last thing you need is DP’s attitude.

Do,you have any friends or family who,are aware of what you’re going through and who can support?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page