Advice about wife (depression/bipolar)

[helpmewithadvice]

Good morning,
I have been concerned since the birth of my daughter that my wife is depressed,
our daughter is now about 16 months and after talking to my wife a lot and trying to understand what she is going through I think she is getting worse and I am even under the impression she might be bipolar,
I have tried talking to her and getting her to go to get medical help but she insist she is fine but I know she isn't.

What do I Do??

I've spoken to her mum about my concerns and she is thinking the same but again my wife just acts like everything is okay and we are worrying about nothing.

hope I can get some advice on here.

A tough one. Both my DH and DS recognised they had mental health problems even if they didn't address them.

How would you feel about speaking to the health visitor or GP about your concerns and asking their advice?

How do you think your wife would react if you and your mum, together, approached her about your concerns?

I’m not sure about approaching anyone as I don’t want my wife to feel like I have gone behind her back, I feel if she found out then she would feel she didn’t have anyone fighter for her.
We have both spoken to her seperatly and don’t want to do it in a way where she feels we are hanging up on her.

Fair enough, that's why I asked. Some people might feel ambushed/ganged up on, others might feel relief that someone else is taking charge.

Do you think she would go with you to the GP where you could express your concerns and all be part of the conversation? You could 'sell' it as a way of her being able to get you and her mum off her back should the GP agree with her.

Can you talk in general terms about how sometimes her reactions seem disproportionate to the problem (if that's the case) and ask how she thinks other people might react under similar circumstances?

Hi Gatehouse77 Sorry I haven't been able to get on here to see your message,
I don't think we could go to doctors together every time I mention the fact I think she could do with going she turns very hostile. we cant talk in general terms as every time I mention it she either gets mad or just avoids the conversation.

While I am trying to be very supportive she doesn't see how much I am struggling and I need to help her.

No need to apologise!

It sounds very frustrating. If you talk about how things are affecting and making you feel does that escalate and get twisted?

You can always call Samaritans (freephone) 116 123 to offload. They won't give advice but will help you talk through options and may be able to suggest things you haven't thought about. Either for yourself or your wife.

Is she part of a friendship group that you could try talking to and see if they hold the same views as you?