What motivates you?

[Malibeau]

Really looking for some inspiration and pick-me-ups here. Didn't know what other topic this could fit into so apologies if I've put this in the wrong place.

This month in especially I've noticed a major lack of motivation in most aspects of my life. It's particularly challenging being at home with my 18 month old whinge pot DS as a single parent (I have a partner who comes to see me a few nights a week too). He goes to nursery once a week and spends the day with his grandad on another day.

I'm self employed from home so I barely, if at all, speak to any adults during the day. Maybe a neighbour briefly. But I'm finding even the tidiness of my house is suffering because I just cannot be fucked. My earnings are lower than usual this month too. Every chance I get I want to crawl into bed or sip at my wine in the evening. I don't bother with makeup anymore unless DP is coming round or if we happen to go into town. I feel awful for DS because I want to take him out to do things, but I don't drive and so bussing it with a nearing terrible two year old is extra effort for me when I'm already so exhausted.

I remember a couple of months ago maybe I had so much more 'get up and go' but now it's completely gone. DP says I need to try and get out more and he worries I don't have coworkers to socialise with. He's offered to babysit in the evening if I want to try and go out with some friends. Which is lovely of him. But my motivation for anything at all is zero. It took me until 4pm today to even get in the shower. I felt awful because DS clearly wanted to go for a walk to see the diggers, but there I was in my PJ's

I don't know if it's the stress and exhaustion of having a toddler at home and the constant early mornings? Is it because I feel so fat and unhealthy? Is it because I don't feel worthy of my DP?

I guess my question is what makes you feel happy and motivated day to day? What makes you feel like you can happily jump up and do something and get things done??

And should I see my GP? I do have a history of anxiety, depression and self harm.

Yes see your gp. There is noting wrong with feeling like shit until it affects the ones you love most and even then that's okay too if you are looking at ways to deal with it, which you clearly are.

What motivates me is being outside and working out. Seeing my dd (also 18months with a strong personality) have fun and smile and knowing I'm the reason she's giggling her head off while I chase her even though all I want to do is sit and do f. a. And eat junk.
I tell myself if I just do two minutes, two minutes out of my whole day and if I do it now it's out of the way. It's usually enough to make me start something and see it through.