Can I ask about my friend?

[hannah1992]

One of my oldest and best friends has had depression for a number of years. It began as PND after the birth of her second child and then her husband ran off with another woman, 2 years down the line my friend divorced him and he is now married to said woman (got married 3 weeks after the divorce finalised) which was a kick in the teeth for my friend. Then she lost her mum last year unexpectedly.

She has been on anti-depressants since she had her second child five years ago. She has had numerous councilling sessions and CBT but whilst they’ve helped her with the anxiety side of it it hasn’t helped with her depression at all.

We have been having a google today about self help for depression and how to improve it naturally. It’s basically because she doesn’t want to have to rely on the anti-depressants anymore.

Our search came up with walking outdoors, yoga, eating well and drinking plenty. Just general looking after yourself and good routine.

I just wanted to ask real people really what do you do to improve your mental health? How long did it take to have an effect? And was you able to lower your dosage or come off anti-depressants?

Obviously you can read up a lot online but it never gives you real life answers so I wanted to show her the thread for real ideas as she is quite synical about these natural methods helping her

Hi, I've never been on medication (too scared to take them) but when I went through my cbt course for anxiety my therapist gave me "homework" of going for a walk every evening without fail for 2 weeks, at first I was very reluctant always thinking of excuses as to why I couldn't but my dh really pushed the issue and made me go, I'd take headphones with me and listen to music as I just walked around the streets. I must say for me personally it did really help, it took about a week before I started to notice an effect, I also did meditation and chanting for 15 mins every night (just using YouTube videos for help) and this also really worked. If I were your friend I wouldn't come off the medicine without speaking to a doctor as 5 years is a long time and most people need weaned off them slowly but she would do that with gp's help whilst also doing the walking/yoga/meditation/swimming whatever works for her, it's all worth a shot.

Basically what nogod

Was put on medication (fluoxetine) for anxiety/depression but it made me ill and I could barely function so came off it. Did cbt, and again homework for that was to go for a walk (lunchtime as work is my trigger) always felt better after it, and less like I needed to run out the door. I also started walking on an evening and it’s massively improved my mood. There are lots of studies on exercise and mental health.
Your friend does need to talk to her medical professional before she comes off medication, she will have to wean herself off under instruction as there can be some unpleasant side effects

With the caveat that I have anxiety not depression, I would suggest she make sure to either avoid, minimise, or at least be aware of what triggers her to feel worse. So for example, I'm more anxious when tired, stressed, or haven't had some alone time (introvert!). So best case scenario I try to make sure I get plenty of sleep. Or at least enough. Or at least be aware that if I am tired I'll feel anxious, but that's ok, it's down to the tiredness.

General tips - get enough sleep (avoid caffeine and screen time before bed), eat a properly balanced diet, exercise as much as you possibly can (especially outside), make sure to do things you enjoy, even if the depression makes you feel like you're not enjoying them as much as you should/would usually do.

A daily walk really helped me. Sounds daft but getting out of the house into the fresh air, even if it was just to the postbox and back, gave me a sense of purpose. I used MOODgym for online CBT and allocated 30 minutes a day for silly stuff - for me it was reading TMZ celeb gossip. It all helped me recover.

Agree with outdoor walks and exercise. I'd also recommend getting a pet if her circumstances allow for one.

My dog has been a life saver for me, mentally she gives me such a lift and a reason to get up and out the house.

I really don't think I'd still be here without her.

Even stroking a pet is very therapeutic.

OP I am sorry to hear that your friend has been feeling so low for so long and has also suffered marriage breakdown and lost her Mum. That is an incredible amount to have to deal with.

I was on SSRIs for a number of years (so cycling between various doses Sertraline Citalopram and Fluoxetine) and was doing "OK" but not really getting better (unpleasant side effects aside). Eventually I was able to see an NHS psychologist for 10 sessions-she was incredible and helped me assess and fix so much of the stuff that I'd been upset over and talked about over the years but hadn't really sorted. No mumbo jumbo-I just talked with her and she sensitively and effectively challenged how I felt about these past situations and how I felt about myself. Once I felt stronger I took the GP's advice on how to reduce my anti-depressants and I slowly came off these.

I also take B vitamins (apparently you have to go for ones with a high dose of Niacin) and Omega 3 and Vitamin D every day which I think helps. I also make time to do one little something for myself every day that I really enjoy (going to a gym class, a nice bath, a bit of chocolate or writing a few lines in a gratitude journal) and walk a lot. I feel a lot better now-there are still down days but I recover a lot more quickly now.

You are a good friend for asking on here-I hope it helps and that things for your friend improve x

Thanks everyone. I am going to show her later.

She’s aware she will need to see the doctor about coming off the mess and not to just do it. I think seeing that other people can overcome or even feel better with some self help will really open her eyes because at the minute I just think she feels deflated and like nothing will ever make her feel better.

She has been through so much and to be honest I don’t think I’d be still standing if I had to take on what she has. She’s stronger than she thinks she is.