Hi everyone! Im really stuck at the moment and i don't know what to do, ive been in many psychiatric hospitals over the last 4 years i think its about 10 admissions now 
suffered terribly from ptsd as i was horrifically sexually abused when i was a child, bipolar disorder and they also diagnosed me with unstable personality disorder
i told my psych doc who deals with my medication that i was planning on becoming pregnant, im in a good place everything was going well, been out of hospital for quite a while and ready to start living my life and stuff, i was on Lithium,quetipine (if thats how its spelt, my spelling is rubbish) sleeping meds and also on propanalol ( can be used for anxiety but i had tachycardia so i was put on that) i was taking lots of tablets a day to keep me well, everytime i came off my meds i seemed to get unwell quite rapidly, my doc told me that i had to come off the lithium as it is dangerous for the baby, so over the course of three days i came off them, i still take my antipsychotic ( quetipine) i asked if he could put me on another medication like my lithium (best one ive had) and he said he refuses to give me meds and when i find out im actually pregnant he will take me off everything completely and refuse to perscribe me anything at all! I completely understand that the meds can effect the baby and i agreed with him to stop the lithium until i know and then the antipsychotic, my doctor told me 'maybe its best you dont try for a baby so u can stay on your meds!' My meds are long term for me! It could be 10+ years and id still be in the same position why should i let this mental health ruin my life and stop me from becoming what ive always wanted to be... a mother :( i dont feel 100% atm i feel diffrently things are really hard,me and my mum have disscussed going to another doctor for a second opinion as he 'doesnt really deal with pregnant women with mental health' wtf there HAS to be something they can do to help me :( ive been down before i dont want to go there again i can't let this ruin my life! Trying to keep positive and tell myself that i am ok its just a wobbly time! Absolutely dont know what to do at all :( like i said ive always wanted to be a mother, but my mental health team here are pure shit and thats to say the least! Any advice will be greatly appreciated