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Original poster

Prozac - can anyone tell me how it affects you?

38 replies

mylittlestar · 22/05/2007 10:16

Just that really.

DH has been taking it for about a month now. We have had a difficult time but were getting through it. After a rocky few days we agreed to separate last night. He has just agreed to it, no emotions, nothing. Just blank.

I guess I'm wondering how much the tablets may or may not be affecting his mood and decisions. Just want a general understanding of how they have affected people please......

OP posts:
Donk · 22/05/2007 10:18

I don't know about Prozac (because one dose made me vomit for 48 hours, so I ditched it swiftly), but depression can certainly make you behave like this!

Original poster
mylittlestar · 22/05/2007 10:22

Thanks Donk!

Not looking for excuses for his behaviour but I do need to try to understand if this is all his own decision, or if the depression and/or Prozac are having an effect I can't understand....

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Mumpbump · 22/05/2007 10:28

Sorry to hear this, MLS. I was following your other threads and it sounded so positive. I don't know how prozac in particular affect you, I'm afraid. I know some anti-depressants iron out the highs and the lows so it could well be affecting his mood/decision-making.

Original poster
mylittlestar · 22/05/2007 10:34

Thanks mumpbump

And I'm sure there's a positive just around the corner

OP posts:
americantrish · 22/05/2007 10:45

when i first started on it, i had insomnia for 2 weeks and increased appetite, but more energy. been on it 6+ weeks now and it's helping me feel more leveled out, but on the minus side: i've gained over a stone :O and i dont feel as motivated to do things (like find a job, etc.) i still keep active as i have an almost 3 year old.

i'm sorry about your separation.... and i hope you two can sort things out. i have to admit, i do feel more numb sometimes on it, i dont cry like i used to when me and dh row...

MinW · 22/05/2007 10:51

I am on prozac for pnd. The first couple of weeks were horrible (increased anxiety, sleeplessness, feeling sick, shaking). After about a month I was feeling emotionally very numb and ambivalent about everything. Have now been on it for about 4 months and I am feeling much better. I feel positive and can plan things. So the numbness could be a side effect. I think you have to take things one day at a time and hope that he starts to feel better soon. Is he having any counselling? I did and found this helped me to work out the different things that were contributing to how I was feeling. This helped me to speak to my DH about how he could help me and this improved our relationship.

sauce · 22/05/2007 10:54

Crikey! I've been on prozac for 11 years & don't feel any side effects except loss of libido. Which is a real drag. But I'm grateful that someone invented a drug that keeps me more or less on an even keel.

sauce · 22/05/2007 10:56

mylittlestar, it's better not to take life-changing decisions while under treatment for depression! Do you have a therapist? Don't do it until you're both better, please!

BibiThree · 22/05/2007 10:57

Personally I barely felt any side effects, but I was on Fluoxetine (a prozac derivitive) and the smallest dose. Took it for 3 years and loss of libido was about the worst it got.

Sounds like depression is the cause of his odd mood, lack of emotion. I kept a lot in when I was depressed and let it out via actions rather than emotions, not violent actions but things like walking out of the room, refusing to argue etc.

Original poster
mylittlestar · 22/05/2007 11:03

MinW he's waiting for the counselling appointment (through GP so may take a while).

Sauce I completely agree. You are right that we/he shouldn't be making any life changing decisions right now. But I can't take anymore. I've lived through 6 months of sheer hell, supported him through the worst things imaginable, and now I'm falling apart myself. I'm trying to get over what he's done, and can't do that unless he can give me something back. But he says he can't. Just nothing. Surely the time has come where I need to look out for myself?

Or do you think that I should continue to support him for however long it takes, i.e. until he starts coping with the depression? Will separating now make his illness worse?
Oh god I don't know what to do for the best

OP posts:
MinW · 22/05/2007 11:17

Ultimately, you need to take care of yourself. Both of you having some kind of breakdown won't achieve anything. He needs to address and resolve his problems, which it sounds as though he is starting to do. All you can do is support him to the best of your ability but not at the cost of your own health.

sauce · 22/05/2007 11:22

If you still love him, give a few more months. Even if you don't love him, please don't leave him until he's better. Severe depression often leads to suicide and that is one thing that you do NOT want to live with! You must get professional support, too. It's not fair, otherwise. I know what hell it is to live with a depressed person, believe me. Even a moderately depressed person. If you really can't take anymore and can't get the support you need, just explain to him that you can't be with him until he gets better but don't, please, tell him it's over. Not yet.

Original poster
mylittlestar · 22/05/2007 11:23

Thanks MinW
I have done all I can to help him. In every way. But one of us needs to be strong enough to keep things together for ds's sake. He's only 20 months but is already noticing when daddy isn't there and it's breaking my heart.

Sometimes, if people don't want to help themselves, then there is nothing more you can do.

I'm sure he thinks the ADs and the counsellor (and me!) will magically fix everything and he doesn't even need to try. But somehow, he needs to realise that he has to start helping himself. I hope that's soon.

OP posts:
Original poster
mylittlestar · 22/05/2007 11:24

Sause I am taking in everything you say. I am getting help too. If I can cope any longer I will try. But I'm just not sure I can. Thank you for your advice though

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Original poster
mylittlestar · 22/05/2007 11:25

"sauce"

sorry can't type. shaking

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sauce · 23/05/2007 21:52

mylittlestar, you've got to do what's best for you and your ds, whatever that might be!

fibernie · 23/05/2007 22:03

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through.
I took prozac for a year for pnd. It did make me quite emotionally numb - a bit like I could only feel the middle of a spectrum of emotions. Nothing made me really sad, but nothing made me really happy either. It made difficult situations easier to cope with.
For me, it did affect my reactions... if I spilled a jug of something on the floor, I'd just look at it and go, 'oh well...'
Take care

Original poster
mylittlestar · 24/05/2007 10:19

thanks fibernie and sauce

I've taken your advice sauce and told dh that I'm not prepared to accept a decision from him either way until he's better. So in the meantime I will help and support him when I am able, but I will make sure I look after myself and ds as my priority now.

His mum is very concerned that perhaps due to the tablets, and lack of emotion, he is going to let us split up. Then somewhere down the line he will regret the decision and end up regretting it for the rest of his life.
She said that even after everything he's put me through, if I still love him and am prepared to try again, he needs to give me something back soon. She fears that due to what I'm going through, if he cannot give me any love or support in return now, it may be too late for us - and she's right.

(MIL and myself have never had a great relationship - but even she has said that dh and I are made for each other and she cannot think of anyone else she would want for her son! )

MIL suggested that he should perhaps come off the ADs, in order to feel whatever his 'real' emotions are. She thinks he may then be able to make a decision about how he really feels about being with me and the baby. She can't believe he's so close to losing me and doesn't care.

If anyone's still around, is that a good idea or not?

OP posts:
Kelly1978 · 24/05/2007 10:26

If he was put on them I don't think it is a good idea to come off them jsut yet. TBH it sounds to me like they haven't fully kicked in yet, and the numbness might still be a symptom of depression. It can take a good 6-8 weeks before they fully kick in.

I felt pretty numb when I first started them, then went happy and extremely laid back (the house could have fallen down and I'd have probably shrugged it off!), and now I've levelled out to be a bit more normal.

I don't think you should continue in a relationship if you are deeply unhappy, jsut for his sake, you do need to look out for yourself, and it won't work longterm unless you both want it to work. But from your posts it doesn't sound like you really want to end it neither. I think counselling would be good for both of you.

Original poster
mylittlestar · 24/05/2007 10:32

thanks kelly

I don't really think he should come off them as he has been prescribed them for a reason.
But it's scary that if the AD's are affecting him to the point where he has no emotions - he may lose his wife, his family, his home - and live to regret it forever

I want to be with him more than anything. And have supported him while he literally put me through 6 months of hell. So now I need his love and support to be able to get over his affair. So it's catch 22. I could let him go, look to the future, and move on. But when he is back to his old self (if that ever happens) we may both be with new partners, realise that wasn't what we wanted, and miss each other for the rest of our lives

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dionnelorraine · 24/05/2007 10:38

Have not read whole thread.

My dh took them for a couple of weeks. Not because he was depressed but because he has a nerve defect (RLS). Anyway, his personality really changed! He was very low, vacant, quiet, face like a slapped arse! Tired ALL the time. Sex drive non existant. It was like the light was on, but nobody at home [hnn]. When we realised what it was he stopped them and soon became the loving cheery man that I married again.

On the other hand, my mum has been on prozac for a long time. She is much better for it. She copes with normal life, brighter and more able to get on with things.

Its different for everyone.

dionnelorraine · 24/05/2007 10:39

'No emotions'

Perfect way of describing it!

Original poster
mylittlestar · 24/05/2007 10:42

thanks dionnelorraine - it helps a lot to know they have affected others in the same way. thank you

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MellowMa · 24/05/2007 10:44

Message withdrawn

fibernie · 24/05/2007 10:45

Agree, coming off Ads is something to do only when everything is stable in your life... it might make things worse to come off them now.