How to explain my self harm scars to children (sorry if this is upsetting)

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I’m nearly 40 and self harmed when I was a teenager. I have a set of scars on my left forearm. It’s taken me over twenty years to start wearing short sleeves again. My mental health is in a good place now, I haven’t self harmed since school (although have had periods of depression).

My child is in juniors primary school and we were having a cuddle last night and they started sleepily rubbing my scars on my arm. I froze and moved. I realise that at some point I am going to have to explain what they are to them. They are too young to understand yet I don’t want them to think I lied to them when they are old enough to understand.

Have others been in this position? How did you manage it?

I'm in the same position I have them all over my arms and legs although they are very faded, just white lines now but are still visible. I feel like I'd rather lie about them than tell the truth if my kids ever asked but at the same time don't want to lie either so I really don't know what to do!

When DD was that age, or if other children ask me about it, I breezily say "oh I got hurt a long time ago." That's usually enough for them but if pushed for details I say "I don't like to talk about it, remembering it makes me feel sad."

I'm not proud of my scars but I'm not ashamed of them either. They're my battle scars and they made me the strong(ish) person I am today.

I know someone who tells people she used to have a really mean cat

"Somebody hurt me a long time ago, and because my feelings became very confused, I thought it meant that I had to hurt myself. I then had some help to put all of my feelings back in the right order and then I learnt I should have never have hurt myself".

Depends on the age though... I've also had a fight with a T-Rex.

Thank you. It’s a tough one and I think the plain answer of “I got hurt” and talking about it makes me feel sad is a plain way to go for now.

I’ve got lots of scars, kids didn’t ask til recently. I just said I had an accident a very long time ago and you’re too young to discuss it with. I’ll tell you about it when you’re older. Which was probably the wrong thing but they accepted it as a suitable explanation. Mine are getting near teenage years though, so I expect they’ll probably know what it is before I have to tell them. I just can’t face admitting I did it to myself...

I have scars from breast cancer surgery, and have only one breast. My kids saw me go through treatment so they know all about it - once I had given them a clear explanation they just accepted it and moved on. It's good that you can place your self harm firmly in the past tense, I think that makes it easier to explain and also the explanation has a happy ending. Huge love and luck to you

Im covered in them from when I was a teenager. I have a 3yo son and ive never covered them up and he has commented on them saying 'are you hurt?' and I just said 'yes but it was a long time ago and they are healed now' which seemed to satisfy him.
I think as he gets older if he asks about it I would just tell him as honestly and as simply as possible that I was ill and did them to myself but then I got better and stopped that. I would expect however that he will realise himself what they are before he actually asks about them.... I think its one of those things that children will end up understanding before you can explain it to them, especially if they have grown up seeing them there. It wont make any sense to them until one day it suddenly does.
I wouldnt worry or be ashamed, just be honest and matter of fact when your child eventually asks. You will be helping them to know not to feel ashamed of and to communicate honestly about any period of mental illness they might experience themselves by doing that.

Oh sweet Jesus really sorry for your trauma xx I'm 45 and my first of 5 self harms were in between 40-44 my daughters are now 16.18.20 but when it happened about 12 14 16 ... I was very open eat with them and lost a lot of tears tryingong to explain how I felt ... without trying to upset them. Today they are very brilliant kind caring and loving young women who I adore and thankfully my love for them and theirs for me made me stronger !!!
I would maybe take a less full on Aproach if the children were much younger... but I was lucky in the sense them being mature enough....
tears 1% water 99% feelings

A big shout out for all you people out there with mental illness please don't suffer in silence there are plenty of us out here going through the same or similar !!!!
Keep strong

I tend to go for 'they're scars from when I was younger' when I get asked by a child

I have white scars on my left forearm from my teenage years. My dc have noticed and queried them but I just say it was an accident on some barbed wire when I lived on a farm. As my eldest is only 10 I don't believe it is appropriate to talk about my personal mental health issues from the past. He wouldn't be able to process it without feeling terrible for me and I don't want to burdon him with that. When he's old enough to put two and two together himself then I'll answer his questions, but not before.

My DS has never asked (he’s 9) but DD is 6 and she asked me the other day. I took the I was hurt line and said when she was older I’d tell her more.

I don’t hide them anymore, I used to get asked when in my early twenties (mine are also battlescars from teen hood) but nobody asks now though they definitely clock them