How do I cope?

[Mummyanne]

As a child I was sexually abused. I was led to believe something was ok to then later be told it was wrong. I had experiences with "exploring" with a very close family member that still haunts me to this day. I was very young but even though I've had therapy it doesn't seemed to have helped. I am on antidepressants atm and I had run out and haven't been on them consistently for a while yet due to the mess up so that could be playing into this. I keep getting the intrusive thoughts back how I used to feel. Not being able to distinguish connections between intimacy and family love and it's effecting me with ALL of my family members and it's effecting my relationships and my ability to be a mother. Has anyone suffered through sexual abused and a rocky upbringing in which led to those feelings and intrusive anxious thoughts to return?? If so does it get better?

Ps I am on a waiting list for a counsellor again.

Hello, how are you feeling today?

I've not had your experience but wanted to reply and send you a big virtual hug. It's horrible what has happened to you and that it's affecting your relationship with your family.

Well done for getting on the list for more counselling I really hope it helps. I would defo go to gp re antidepressants and any other support they can offer.

Do your family know what has happened so they understand? Do you have anyone else close to that you can talk to?

Xx

Mummy I'm sorry you are experiencing this. I was sexually abused by a family member as a child and too did not know it was wrong at the time and would have intrusive thoughts about repeating the behaviour (I never did this though as I was told that it was to be a secret and not repeated)

As a teenager when I realised that actually this wasn't 'normal' I experienced a rollercoaster of emotions and took a long time to move on from it.

For me I have finally accepted that it was a part of my life which I had no control over and I knew no different-it is NOT YOUR FAULT and you are a VICTIM. With the death of my abuser I have been able to relax knowing that he is not putting anyone else at risk. Occasionally the intrusive thoughts come back but I am able to remind myself that I was the victim and not the abuser-however I still have deep issues with my family who refuse to acknowledge the abuse.

Please seek help or someone to talk to either a professional or someone whom you trust there is help out there.

Thank you so much for the replies. I am not very close to my family so I don't really talk to them about this. I do however talk about this stuff with my boyfriend and he is super supportive. It's just I don't feel to bad now but as soon as the thoughts start there's no stopping them!! It's almost all the time! Also I am on citalopram.