Long winded so I apologise in advance. Bit of background.
Sold our house 6 months ago and living with MIL/Mum+Dad until we find a new place, nothing on market that we like just now and parents/IL's are enjoying having us. Are in a position to rent somewhere until we find a home but not realistic as will eat into our equity plus don't want to confuse DS anymore by potentially moving nursery and childminder again when we may need to move him again when we finally find somewhere. Through the week myself and DS stay with my MIL as nearer CM. Hubby works away so this works for us. However recently I've been feeling a bit low and unenthusiastic about everything. Dad is not well so I feel like I'm always asking Mum how he is and she always says he's not great, then I feel guilty for staying there and want to move out cos dad is so unpredictable (think he is depressed but refuses to see doctor) Wish mum would just lie about it sometimes TBH. When staying with MIL we are always in our room when DS goes to bed and it's just a bit boring. We are on holiday just the two of us just now and I feel like I should be enjoying it more than I am. We are home next week and I know it's sounds awful but I CBA dealing with a toddler, yet I CBA doing anything except lie in bed on holiday or go to bed early. Just feel a bit stuck in a rut and if the time together without DS isn't exciting me, what will? So uninterested and unenthusiastic about everything, with zero energy. Had CBT in the past and on Fluoxitine 20mg just now, however don't know if I should go back to docs and ask for help. Was on CIT before which worked but doc took me off them as we were going to try for another baby and Fluoxetine safer when pregnant. This is now on back burner due to house move. What is wrong with me? I honestly was so enthusiastic about life before, and now I'm just a bit listless and feel like I have no purpose. Friends are always talking about their kids and I CBA listening to them to be honest. I'm honestly not a horrible person but I just want to vanish