Do you ever feel like you don't deserve to live?

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

I feel like that tonight, I'm a terrible human being and don't deserve to be alive. I'd never do anything to harm myself but sometimes I find myself wishing for a terminal illness so the end would be in sight...how fucked up is that?

I've spectacularly lost my shit at my kids, my house is a mess and I'm just failing at even the basic stuff at the moment. I'm under MH services but even finding that (I'm doing the STEPPS course for EUPD) too much hard work at the moment.

I hate feeling like this.

I'm trying now to be far kinder to myself and you should too. We're all just trying to get by the best we can. And doing ok is good enough. You don't need to be amazing! If you can't take a day at a time, then just take it hour by hour. You will start feeling more like it again

No, I totally understand that wish too. Been there more than once. To be honest, it's a permanent state really, and unfortunately I am not suffering from depression (I know the difference, big time). Not sure what the answer is but you're not alone.

You are not alone. Although I don't have thoughts like that exactly, I do something's think what's the point on me being here. I sometimes feel like just walking away from everything and starting again.
Sometimes when I am going to work or doing the weekly shop I sometimes get this urge to just keep driving. Like no-one would miss me anyway. I know deep down it's not true.