Delaying suicide (trigger)

[SnowyMouse]

I'm telling myself I need to wait until after my exam this week, but after that all bets are off. I'm not worth it, essentially. Just had temporary MH team person come round, suggesting I need more help, but I already have so much help as it is.

SnowyMouse where do you live? You are going through a very dark time and you need to speak to someone who can understand. Do not harm yourself - if you weren’t here the impact on people who know and love you would be devastating so please consider that. You need to work through this and come out the other side. You can and will feel better. Lots of love.

I did this when I was younger, when I didn’t realise depression and anxiety were actual things. I believe that is why you are telling yourself stuff like this. Seek some help for it, and you’ll be amazed at how much better you can also feel xx

I live independently, in a council flat. I have physical difficulties (which I get care for), and MH issues (which is where SW/CPN think I need some extra help). It's hard to talk to SW as I've had bad experiences with SWs before, which get triggered.

Thanks both - it's tough as services will say 'why are we back here?', the obvious answer being because I shouldn't be alive.

I don't think you want to die, putting it off a week for an exam that wouldn't matter anymore if you were dead? No, i think it's a call for help and you deserve the help, it doesn't matter how many people are already helping you, if you need more support you ask for it.. and try to be as truthful as possible with people about how you're feeling, they want to help i promise

I’m sorry you’re suffering - it’s torture I know . Tell us how you feel a bit - a problem shared is a problem halved type thing. I can listen gladly X

If it were a call for help I'd be talking about it in real life, which I'm not. I'm feeling really low/helpless/that everything is pointless.

Oh SnowyMouse, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

I agree with a pp.. what's the point in delaying to sit an exam? You need to do the exam and get your results and make a plan of life based on that!
You do need to speak to people. If you read about other people's suicides in the newspapers do you not think "what a waste. This person needed help". Whatever is going on it is not worth ending your life for.

Please get help.

Thanks both - it's tough as services will say 'why are we back here?', the obvious answer being because I shouldn't be alive

The agony of thinking like that feels so real . It's not true though, it's really not. You are back here because your MH problems are ongoing and a manageable solution hasn't been found yet. It's not going to be a quick fix, you know that, but that does not mean you are doomed to feel like THIS forever. It can get better.

Can you say what the exam is for? Is the stress of the exam contributing to the extent of how dreadful you feel right now?

Please speak to someone in real life

You can and will feel differently at some point but death won’t give you that opportunity. I’ve experienced this with a close loved one, they recovered and have since enriched so many people’s lives as well as their own with their existence even though at their lowest they felt worthless

You are worth it. Always

Please don't do it, I've been the person left behind, and it's fucking awful. You don't realise how many people care. You don't understand how many people will feel the ripple effects. We stood at their funeral confused, hundreds were there, why couldn't they see how important they were.

Your life is important, you have value, and more people than you realise care that you're here. Feel free to Pm. I would happily talk to anyone in the position my friend must have been in before she did it. I'd give anything to have seen a post or a message and been able to prevent it.

Don't do it, it will get better, sit the exam, get it out of the way and plan something beautiful

Snowy - did you use to post in the "village" threads here a few (or was it quite a few?) Years ago? You were very kind to me.

Please love yourself - what exams are you taking?

YOU ARE WORTH IT !! 💕💕

Snowymouse.
5 years ago almost i tried to commit suicide. I had nothing to live for. Believe me when I say there’s been dark times but I’m in a good place now. Sure I have ups and downs- that’s life but I’m off anti depressants. I’m coping well. Working. Have a life.

Hold on in there and remember one bad experience doesn’t mean that all of the social workers will be bad experiences. No one can help you unless you tell them what’s wrong.

Also accepting help is a strength.

LEM, I did used to. It's a 2nd year STEM subject. I usually enjoy exams/revision etc, but not this time - don't really care how I do.

Thanks all. Need to persuade myself to go to my clozapine bloods tomorrow.

Please don’t do anything silly

You can go to A&E and tell them how you feel, they will be able to help you.

Hold on in there SnowyMouse.... you've been brave enough to come on here....

Perhaps take the next step of ringing the Samaritans - they are kind wise and gentle.... and their role is to wait for your call.... You are still anonymous... it is just a small step from talking to us....

Never forget - YOU are worth it... and the pain you will cause others if you leave will be unbearable.... and most importantly there is a good future waiting for you, even if you cannot imagine it now

How are you? Did you go for your clozapine blood test?

How are you feeling?