Stress

[Pixpeb]

Anyone else ever just woke up one day and thought I can’t do this anymore, I don’t mean harming myself, I find work/family life a constant battle, I have very little sleep due to shift patterns and my doctor has given me sleeping tablets and signed me off with stress, I’m normally so in control of myself and feel awful for getting to this point, I don’t know how to shake these feelings off? Any advice?

I don’t think you can just shake these feelings off really, but hopefully you can learn to manage them. Or change your work situation if at all possible?
Try not to blame yourself - you’ve clearly been coping with a lot and it finally got too much. How are you doing now?

Only advice is don't ignore.

I'm usually very in control of everything. Lack of sleep has pretty much destroyed me (2+ years of a non sleeping baby/toddler) and work stress, family stress has taken it's toll.

We're only human. We can only take so much.

Eat good food. Rest. Have you got friends/family to help out? You must take this time out to get better. Treat stress like any other illness, rest is key. It's not always easy, depending on what the stress is though (financial stress is awful).

Listen to nice calming music. Try mediation, try yoga, anything to try and quiet your head.

I really hope you start feeling better soon. As I said, don't ignore, talk it through with those close to you. You MUST let them know you are not coping, and there's no shame in that at all

Trying to relax which I’m finding difficult as I’m always busy, my husband and children have been fab, I just can’t help feeling I’m letting people down, by being like this and not being in work, back to the doctors Monday as my anxiety seems to be getting worse I’m paranoid people/work colleagues are talking about me, I’ve never let things get to me before, until now, and it’s horrible ...

It is horrible. Really horrible.

I've not got much advice as I'm going through similar. I really thought I was having a breakdown a few weeks ago.

There's just no break, no rest, it's constantly busy. We've got no outside help at all, and we have huge stress in terms of work/money at the moment. Coupled with no sleep for over 2 years, I'm falling apart, but still having to work (self employed).

I do totally understand letting people down. I cried during my mini breakdown that I was letting my children down, and that they didn't deserve a mum who didn't even have time to play with them. Worse. Didn't want to play with them

Relaxing is very hard for me, I can't switch off. But I am trying.

Just don't bottle it up. You're doing the right thing, going to the doctors etc.

People might talk at work, they might not. Unless they're friends, don't give them a second thought. If they are friends, then they shouldn't be talking about you badly behind your back.

Concentrate on you and getting well again, and keep seeing it as a physical illness. If you had the flu you wouldn't feel guilty, as you can't help being ill. Well, you can't help this either.

From someone who has coped through some very very difficult times, it's hard to accept I'm not invincible. Admitting I'm not strong enough is hard, but we all have our breaking points.

Hope your doctors appointment goes well today. Tell your DH you feel like you're letting him down (he'll reassure you that you're not). I did this with DH a few weeks ago and it was good to get it off my chest, and for him to understand just how low I felt. It wasn't just a one off bad day.

Unfortunately stress and anxiety can spiral quite quickly. Wishing you lots of luck and hope you get through this soon x

Thankyou for replying, I can totally relate to you, work, bills etc...I’m the one that’s held everything together these past 12 months, my husbands dad died, he developed a gambling problem I knew nothing about, and lost his job, I worked longer hours to support us all for 6 months while he was unemployed, he’s had help, counselling etc, and is on the right track now.

I don’t know if what I’m going through is to do with all this or if I’m just worn out, I feel guilty not spending enough time with my youngest who’s 8, my older 2 are in there late teens, I just feel like I can’t spread myself everywhere, home/work...when I’m home im too tired to do anything, same applies on my day off, it’s a vicious circle...

I’ve been off work a week tomorrow first few days where horrendous, overthinking, paranoid, unable to relax, yesterday was nice I was able to feel a little bit like my old self , I have been sleeping due to the tablets but still feel washed out...I didn’t go to the doctors today, I’m trying to be a bit more positive, my next appointment is next Monday.

I have spoken with my Husband and he’s very supportive, i just over analyse everything, I frightened myself that day but I’m coming to terms with the fact that I need a break and I need to change my working pattern.

I hope you continue to relax as it does help, even if it’s watching a little tv, a long soak in the bath or reading a book x

It sounds very familiar

We have similar issues with work, and I've been keeping things together money wise. Huge pressure.

I think what you're going through must be do with this, as it sounds like a lot to get through.

My eldest is a teen, and I don't feel quite so guilty (but still do) but my 2 and 7 year old, aren't getting any quality mummy time of late as there's too much pressure with bills/running the house.

I'm an over analyser too

It was frightening to feel so out of control, and feel like I could actually run away from everything (very very unusual for me).

You've both been through so much. I agree, time out here and there for a bath or book read, however small, will help.

You'll both come out the other side stronger, I'm sure. DH and I went through a horrendous time in 2016 (illness and finance), but we got through it together and we're even stronger now. I think it's all catching up with me now though as I never rested/took time out after.

x

How are you feeling now? I’ve had a bad day today, not used to do nothing when the kids are in work/school, still can’t switch off, did speak with my husband think he realises how bad I’ve actually become and is fully supportive...I need to speak with my boss about reducing my nights as this is where I’m struggling with my sleep, sounds stupid but constant lack of sleep can make you feel a little crazy...I’ve got 2 sleeping tablets left off my doctor, I don’t want to rely on them have you tried any alternative or don’t you like to as you’ve got a little one? X

We're just getting over sick bugs. Joy of joys. Sleep is such a problem

I'm still breastfeeding toddler, so much as I want to take sleeping tablets, I can't at the moment.

I've been listening to some youtube videos on mindful meditation, with peaceful music. Jason Stephenson is really good, he has a lovely relaxing voice.

It's really really hard to switch off. Don't forget though, it's not been a long time for you. It takes practice to switch off.

Constant lack of sleep does make you crazy. I can vouch for that.

Also worth remembering that stress doesn't always manifest until much later. So when we had huge issues 2016, they only hit me much later. I had the strength to see the year through, but then afterwards I just went back to normal without any rest at all. Then it hit me.

Definitely look at diet. And any vitamin supplements that can help you.

Maybe try warm milk before bed, putting lavender on your pillows, taking a warm bath before bed, relaxing music.

It won't happen overnight. But I'm sure you'll get there.

Now, I better take some of my own advice!!

Hoping the kids are done being sick tonight

x

Ugh I can totally relate to the difficulty with trying to relax. I feel it's like a skill that we have to learn and nurture. I now attend meditation classes as a structured way of managing this.

When I was signed off with stress, it took me a good month to finally feel like I was starting to chill out. From a physiological perspective, you are continually in fight or flight response when stressed. Your adrenaline is increased and your body almost becomes used to that state. You need to allow yourself an adequate amount of time to get your self back on track.